I am not dreaming tonight. I wake up suddenly after heard something. Exactly remembered what it was "my angel, wake up ... I am here" in asecond maybe I opened my eyes and didnt find him,,my dream. No one whispered that. What it was about ? Am I too tired today until I got this hallucination ? Am I miss him that much until like this ? Or am I worry about him ? Or there something happen ? I just finished performed tahajud, prayed for good. I wont cry and never plan even has bit intention to cry. It just come out itself. Too tired with these tears.

Missing my dream. Does he feel same ? I really dont know. Maybe he doesnt feel as like as I feel.

I wake up this late. I dreamed of him, my dream. I cried in his hug but I didnt know why. I looked around, it is so late, dark, silent and cold. What is he doing this time ? What will happen in future ? What will happen with me, him then us ? Wondering he is sleeping besides me tonight, staring his face while he is sleeping. I give everything for him, suddenly remain what we had been through. I dont know why I am crying just now.

Wake up in crying. I miss my dream. I dont know how to say it missing him like this making me this way. I dont know does he feel same ? I dreamed of him he didn't say anything Just staring me. Missing my dream.

I am nit feel good. Headache, sore throat, fever. I have flu and getting worst tonight. Raining outside. Wondering I am in my dream hug. It must be warm and comfort. Tgat so much perfect when sick like this in his hug and holding. My dream, please hug me still

Wondering hiw it feels I am in his hug. I dont have much words to say. I miss my dream.

You know what I am remembering rite now ? The old days with my dream when he still in Pakistan. Very old days. Every night I always wait his text that he already at home after college. That time he used to write "my angel I am online". I woke up then went online on skype to chat with him until dawn, atleast one of us fall asleep. If I really very tired and sleepy after worked sometimes I just fall asleep after read his text. I worried if he didn't text me when he already home. Worry to him already part of me. My tears just come out. I hate when crying like this. I miss everything what he and me passed through. He already took my heart.

Raining outside. As if my dream beside me tonight, I would sleep in his hug. I miss my dream.

What John Legend says in his song just rite through with me.

"All of me" from John Legend. The lyrics ... everything is rite for me. It is honest, true and sincere.

[Verse 1:]
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright

[Pre-Chorus:]
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

[Chorus:]
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, ohoh

[Verse 2:]
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you

[Bridge:]
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard

"My dream " I wrote by mail to him. He replied "yes" I stared to screen what just he wrote. Then tonight when I am laying on bed, my mind always go to him. I miss my dream. Miss everything what we have. The intimate things which make us close by ages. He knows me that much to the details. Knowing my size, shape, look, act, passion, even my smell without seeing. How can I live without him ? I am wondering he is beside me rite now. Loving me gently aslike he does. I never understand why I am crying just now. I am feeling him that real. I realize, we argue aslike a couple who had been lived together by half ages. In every pray and doa I always ask to take care him because he is my sun, my moon and my star.

I dreamed of him last night, he looked down. I don't know what made him that way. I hug him tight from back, but he looked same. I so remembered what he said last night "My angel ..." with deep breath. I forgot what i said, but seemed i said somethings to boost his mood. You know what i saw last night in dreamed ? we talked in dining room while i prepared some food on table. Maybe because last night i made chocolate roll cake :) so it brought until in dreaming. He sat on chair with very bad mood face and really i didn't like that face. My dream seemed waiting what i served for him on table. The dining room, beige wall, the table and the chairs well it was as like as a house. Were we in a house last night ? then whose house ?. My dream, i really hope you are just fine. But maybe this 'miss' feeling make me dreamed of him again and again. Wherever you go and whatever you do, just please be careful. Want to kiss you.

I AM LAYING ON BED, WONDERING MY DREAM IS. HEARD HIS VOICE ON PHONE MADE ME FELT GREAT. I MISS HIM ... MUCH ... A LOT ... WHEN IN MIND STARTING TO WONDER HE IS BESIDE ME RITE NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN ? I WANT IN HIS HUG, ASLIKE A BABY IN A MOTHER HOLDING. MY DREAM, PLEASE TAKE CARE YOURSELF. PLEASE BE CAREFUL. I ALWAYS PRAY FOR GOOD FOR MY DREAM.  I WONT SEE YOU IN ANY HARD THINGS. MY DREAM, HOW FAR YOU ARE IN MILES FROM ME. YOU ALWAYS BE IN THIS HEART, IN SAME PLACE AND SIZE. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW, YOU ARE IN ME ALWAYS. MY DREAM, SOMETIMES I AM NOT GOOD IN SAYING, BUT HEART WONT LIE. PLEASE BE STRONG, TOUGH AND SURVIVE FOR ME. BECAUSE I DEPEND ON YOU.