Dreaming

I Slept earlier tonight, along with Khansa. Hug her back, smelled her hair, and sang the que sera sera song until she fall asleep. I dreamed about him, My Dream. He stared at me and said "I am sorry My Angel" but i didn't say anything, i just stared his eyes and cried. He said again "I am sorry". I kept silent and cried. After all, i wake up. The heart beat so fast. Looked around and found nothing. Felt the tears were dripped on my check. No one could i share what i just dreamed. In here, i am writing this post with all the feelings inside.

The mind is spring free. Looked to mirror, how change i am right now. I fall down and wake up face life must through. The body feels so tired, the arms and the thighs leave with bruise because of Heparyn Injection. I have to keep alive for Khansa, she needs me the most. She is not as like as the others kid. Her allergic and her sensitivity for upper breathing need more concern than my condition rite now. I have to make her tough in early age. When i am no longer beside her, she will be ready. When the body itself  feels enough, mean the time for me will come and i am not afraid. 

Let The Magic Work

1.21 AM midnight and still awake. Tidy up the bags on wardrobe. I found a piece of small paper inside my Anya Hindmarch tote bag. I sit on floor touched the picture and stared it. I remembered why i keep this picture on bag. On Oprah Winfrey Show that time it was discussed about granted the wish, dream and hope. "Keep and write on small of paper, let the magic work" It was Oprah said. So i printed my Instagram picture, cut and kept it in my favorite bag. 

I told him, my dream, it was my dream house. "I don't need a big and luxury house. I want a house as like as this. Lighting with warm lamp. Wood, i like a house made in with wood. I like beach, see the sunrise and sunset. Hearing the wave, feel the sands, the wind too". I remain what he said that time "I will make it true". 

Closed my eyes and cried. Caressed the tears which dripped slowly. I am not a dreamer, but since find you, i have so much dreams. Seems like i believe the fairy tale on story book children. I fold the paper and put inside the bag again, let the magic work itself. I whispered slowly "This is my dream house, my dream"