TODAY IS IDUL FITRI. THIS YEAR I TOTALLY RECEIVED ORDER COOKIES AND CAKES. ALMOST A MONTH I TOOK SLEEP ONLY 2 TO 3 HOURS. BAKED AT NIGHT UNTIL DAWN. EVEN THE LAST DAY, LAST NIGHT ONE OF MY NEIGHBOUR ASKED ME  TO MAKE MARBLE CAKE. SHE SAID SORRY BECAUSE REALLY LATE, SOMEHOW I CANT SAY NO, SHE IS MY CLOSEST NEIGHBOUR SO I SAID YES, INSHAALLAH. SO AGAIN I TOOK SLEEP AT 4 AM AND WAKE UP AT 6  AM. I AM SLEEPY AND JUST GET FLU. THIS YEAR .... EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. MY PARENTS MAYBE WONT TOGETHER CELEBRATE IED. MY DREAM, WE NOT TOGETHER IN RAMADHAN AND IED THIS YEAR. I THINK I CANT CRY ENOUGH ... MY TEARS ALREADY ENOUGH. I JUST DONT GET IT, WHY EVERYONE SAYS SOMETHING HURT ME. MAYBE I BORN TO BE USED GETTING HURT. MAYBE I DESERVE IT, TO MAKE ME MORE PATIENCE, ACCEPTING AND TOUGH. THIS HERAT HELD NOT TO CRY BUT MY EYES WONT LIE. THEY ARE EMPTY AND TEARY. HAPPY IED. INSHAALLAH I STILL MEET RAMADHAN NEXT YEAR.