I AM LAYING ON BED, WONDERING MY DREAM IS. HEARD HIS VOICE ON PHONE MADE ME FELT GREAT. I MISS HIM ... MUCH ... A LOT ... WHEN IN MIND STARTING TO WONDER HE IS BESIDE ME RITE NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN ? I WANT IN HIS HUG, ASLIKE A BABY IN A MOTHER HOLDING. MY DREAM, PLEASE TAKE CARE YOURSELF. PLEASE BE CAREFUL. I ALWAYS PRAY FOR GOOD FOR MY DREAM.  I WONT SEE YOU IN ANY HARD THINGS. MY DREAM, HOW FAR YOU ARE IN MILES FROM ME. YOU ALWAYS BE IN THIS HEART, IN SAME PLACE AND SIZE. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW, YOU ARE IN ME ALWAYS. MY DREAM, SOMETIMES I AM NOT GOOD IN SAYING, BUT HEART WONT LIE. PLEASE BE STRONG, TOUGH AND SURVIVE FOR ME. BECAUSE I DEPEND ON YOU.

TODAY IS IDUL FITRI. THIS YEAR I TOTALLY RECEIVED ORDER COOKIES AND CAKES. ALMOST A MONTH I TOOK SLEEP ONLY 2 TO 3 HOURS. BAKED AT NIGHT UNTIL DAWN. EVEN THE LAST DAY, LAST NIGHT ONE OF MY NEIGHBOUR ASKED ME  TO MAKE MARBLE CAKE. SHE SAID SORRY BECAUSE REALLY LATE, SOMEHOW I CANT SAY NO, SHE IS MY CLOSEST NEIGHBOUR SO I SAID YES, INSHAALLAH. SO AGAIN I TOOK SLEEP AT 4 AM AND WAKE UP AT 6  AM. I AM SLEEPY AND JUST GET FLU. THIS YEAR .... EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. MY PARENTS MAYBE WONT TOGETHER CELEBRATE IED. MY DREAM, WE NOT TOGETHER IN RAMADHAN AND IED THIS YEAR. I THINK I CANT CRY ENOUGH ... MY TEARS ALREADY ENOUGH. I JUST DONT GET IT, WHY EVERYONE SAYS SOMETHING HURT ME. MAYBE I BORN TO BE USED GETTING HURT. MAYBE I DESERVE IT, TO MAKE ME MORE PATIENCE, ACCEPTING AND TOUGH. THIS HERAT HELD NOT TO CRY BUT MY EYES WONT LIE. THEY ARE EMPTY AND TEARY. HAPPY IED. INSHAALLAH I STILL MEET RAMADHAN NEXT YEAR.