I just cant sleep because the fever still 38°c to 39°c. I tried to sleep but the fever really pain so I went to khansa room looking something to read. I found the fifty shades of grey books trilogy. I choose the first book. It was from him, my dream. It was best selling book that time. It always sold out. Until I shared him that I wanted to buy it online. Very surprised he sent them by Amazon for me. I didnt know that time should I cried or smiled when I opened the box that time.
The books so lust and wild. I shouldnt choose this book tonight. It just made me cried just like this. I just stand to read 2 chapters and I returned back to shelf. Everything was remained me to him. Every detail in book remained me to him. So remembered he told me "I dont know about that book. Whatever you read in them just do that only with me" I just said "I will do that only with you" and just right. I never do any of its in book besides with him. Maybe he never come for me, so let I keep all in mind. The wild, the lust, the passion just let I keep it. I am longing him, and still even he went way. I am out of mind.

He is not here. Have fever like this just so right he is here but he is not. I realize he is went away. 39°c temperature make me fading. I cant sleep well, cant eat good, I want e and go aslike a ghost, I just to wait for any a word. Used to cry when sick better than feel pain of sick.