'New Post on August 5, 2014'

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I can't remember when exactly i fall in love to you. Surely not the first time i see you, so it is not love at first sight. Loving you through the process. Knowing you more each day just making me again and again to love you. Can't stop it ... can't resist it ... can't keep and hide it anymore ... the years gone by just enough for me to keep for myself.

You give me love and care which i never feel before, all just make live in fairy which won't wake up for real. If this fairy, i want the end just beautiful as like the tale. If this real, i won't mind ... cuz everything is like real when i am wondering you. If this dream, i won't wake up too fast stay sleep cuz of the pills. And if this not true, i won't regret it cuz i am living within the risk.

There is a night, i just typed "Take me with you" but i just read, erased and delete it. All i see, there is a beautiful gift in my holding who hold my clothes so tight as like won't let me go. The only one daughter for i can sacrifice anything .... anything ... my life, my soul even my love for you. It conqueres everything. I can't go far and let her go ... i am just to afraid to loose her as being her mother if just i send that text.

If just, that day ... you come to take me before all of this. I wont say anything, i just go with you. Because i need your strength, braveness to take me while i too afraid and fear of anything. But, everything is too fast to happen. In my heart there still hope, wish, faith and believe with you.

I am far from perfect and special, being with you i feel all of these.

I love you,

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I risk my life to be with him this second, give my all to be next him. He surely know what i do for him tonight, may change everything. He stares my eyes with no words, feeling all his ego, passion and love. I try to answer all through my eyes. If it's wrong so my heart won't let me be right. He wipes my tears, surely he knows what tears are for. I can't resist and won't hear anything to make it right just for now. I will make it and the rest i'll be half alife. I am waiting him to say even some words 'don't' but for last never come out. All the waiting and hiding are enough, for me for him, for us ... both. We know, it will be mistake but enough to away the pain since long. I am here with him for once and being deaf, mute then blind of surrounding. Feeling his skin on my fingers, again he wipes my tears. I am not fear and he knows it. We just know all wrong but this love, this heart, this feeling can't understand anymore. "I am yours" the first saying seems crash all the silent, see him more deeply. "I love you" he said and kissed me. 

"For My Love,
When i am writing this, you smiled while you were sleeping..
I am giving all to you tonight and half alife after all.
Always love and miss you"

I put slowly next to him, kiss him for last, looking him deeply, "i love you" I said softly. walking to the door and again see him for the last and cry.


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