"Can i have two ice cream dad ?" Ajmal smiles to his dad "you want two ? is one for me ?" Ajmal shakes his head "no, it is not for u" he grinnes with his least teeth on his mouth "so ... " his father smiles "is for mom ?" again Ajmal shakes his head "it is not for mommy also" he smiles with shy face "so ..." his father smiles again "it is for my new friend. she is sitting there". "Do you said 'she' ?" asked his father with smiling. "Hiiiiii yes. i will let you know, come on dad hurry" Ajmal reaches his father hand forcing him to be faster.

"Sstss dad, be nice with her, will you promise me ?" Ajmal whisperes to his dad "i will don't you worry". They walk closer to her, her hair is black with curly under it. She wears flowery dress with small ribbon on her hair. "Here, i have something for you" Ajmal run into her and she smiles to him "thank you Ajmal, you are nice" Ajmal grinnes and waves to his dad "I want you to know my dad, he bought us this ice cream" he turns his head back and again waves to his dad. "It is so good, really ... thank you Sir" she smiles. "Yes sure, what is you name ?", "Dad, i have told you her name is Khansa don't u remember ?" Ajmal looked his father seriously "I do Ajmal, she is so lovely".

"Mommy ... i am here" Khansa stands and waves to her mother "Mommy ... here". Khansa runs into her mother and holding her "Don't play too far from me" they walk hand by hand closer to Ajmal and his father. " Ajmal gave me an ice cream, his father bought us" Khansa tells everything. "Who is Ajmal ? your new friend ?" asks her mother "Yes mom, he is nice. Come on meet them" Khansa runs into Ajmal and his father.

"What a beautiful boy" She says with holding her breath "Yes, beautiful daughter also" He says so tender and deep. "I am Ryza and this is my daughter Khansa, it really nice to meet you" She smiles in weary " I am Taimoor and this my son, Ajmal. It is so great to meet you too" his hands so warm in my hands, we just eye to eye and silent. "Mommy ... here ... here ..." Ajmal suddenly runs into a woman behind him. A woman with long hair and motherly smiling face. "What Ajmal ?" her voice so soft and looks patient. "Meet my new friend". I see him just nod down and no words, "Hi, i am Ryza, and this is Khansa my daughter", "Oh Hi, i am Alika and surely you know ... he is Ajmal my son" She smiles i just realize how beautiful she is. She has dark brown eyes "And this is my husband, Taimoor".

***

"Thank you for you invitation Ajmal, happy birthday" Khansa gives him a gift with blue ribbon on it. "Khansa helps me to wrap it, happy birthday Ajmal. Hope you like our choice" I smile to him, "Thank you, sure i will like it". "You know what, it is the first time Ajmal want to celebrate his birthday except with me and my husband, last night he said he wanted Khansa and you to come for dinner with us. I grant his asking so i call you to come here tonight" Alika please us to come. "You have beautiful house" I see surrounding and feel comfort in its. "Mostly my husband arrange all" She laughs. I just smile and see him at glance.

"So, are you live nearby here Ryza ?" Alika asks me, we are all sit on dining table. There is a cake with candles and some food. "Not too far, by the way thank you for the invitation i am so please to be here","Are you house wife as like me or working ?" she asks again, "I am still working, cuz of my job i am here, i had been here for half year", "Oh really ? so, any plan to permanent ?", "No, i will back at the end of this year" i see him at glance and to her then Ajmal in one. "Oh ..., your husband ?" this time i just pause and see Khansa. I smile at her "Just two of us, Khansa and I" I caress her hair softly and smile to Ajmal. "Oh Okay" Alika seems like unease with that topic.

"You see that cake ?" Ajmal asks Khansa, "Yes why ?" answered Khansa, " My dad made it for me, he is so good in it" I see Alike hug him with cherish and happy, i just know they are happy inside. "What your dad gave to you ?" Ajmal walk closer to Khansa, i just don't know why that two kids so close. "I forget" Khansa go down from her chair and crawl on my lap and says "I want to go home mommy, i want my birthday like this" then she is crying so soft and deep. I feel what she feels, sad and anger in same time as like me.  Everyone just silent, i stare to Alika and Taimoor "I think, i have to go early. I am sorry Ajmal".

***

to be continued

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, when you say those words.

And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
When you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

Do you know how I love you?

Whether is right or wrong, 

want to say 'love you'

Why saying that words quite hard ?

Maybe afraid to going deeper ... fearful to hurting

Why should be afraid which is not necessary ?
Why should cry for what shouldnt be ?

When day turn then sun change into stars, the presence still same

If it is not me, will be another here after
and ... if it is not you, will be the one after this

There wont be place for hiding all what feel
Everything will burst in pieces

An empty on my own

With you, aslike filled in

Wondering your presence
Scent your smile
Feeling your warm

Truly miss you

Cant say, Love

Just want to write, you are my dream

Only Be

Feel sorry whenever write this
Feel wrong to put each word in it,


Why you never ask me to leave
Why you never ask me to stop
Why you never ask me to forget
Each word, each sentence and each memory which could bring out


The more to stay the more scars left
The more to keep the more bind in between
The more ... just kind hurting


If there is one day, 
Which can give you the heart
When morning come and awake 
Don't need to worry
Because there is still life inside


There is time 
Heart aches with a hunger and the want 
That you were mine

Heart Talking

Someone told me "Crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months; if it exceeds, then you are already in Love". I thrilled whenever read this, was it true ?.

I love my husband and no doubt at all, seven years journey were not short time but still after married we needed adjusting more. Last June 19, 2011 it was our 1st anniversary. No special celebration, no cake, no gift even we missed the planned for having dinner. We just spent at home as usual until he said "Happy anniversary" and i said "Happy anniversary too". We grinned then laughed. We know there will be many obstacles we should cover and that not easy as the fact.

And then i met him, the one who i called The Dream.

It was afternoon rite in 2008, when i was in office and chatted with my best friend in Office, you know ... girl things ... chit-chat. He just buzzed and greeted. I really have no idea who is he ? and reassure i don't like to talk to strangers even it just in chat. Started from name, ages, nationality, hobbies until religion. What was the funny, after few times we chatted we used to have same thought. So ... what is that ?

Times flies, not count how many i woke up at night just to share many stories with him. He is younger than me. I feel so different, maybe because there are so many similarities we have. More i know him, more i respect him the more i care to him.

I used to imagine asked him to take me, whenever i feel down at least i could get rid for everything bounced me. But the fact i never told him in words. Sometimes, i just stare him on cam then smile even sometimes i cry. I am a kind of wordless person.

Until today, he lives further but that not matter. Because at first time we met, we had been separated by miles and times.

So, what is that ? am i in crush ? if it was, it would have more than 4 months. It already took more than 3 years.

Whatever the path is, what i surely know that his trace always in mind because he had became something for me.

My friends used to say "You had passed sweet and bitter in relationship, u may feel down sometimes but u never let your life going sink"

Have you ever feel your tears ready to burst, but you keep ?
Want to share your pain, but no place
Aim to talk, but can't find the listener
Have to say, but miss the words
What you need exactly not in front of you
Which you want just hard to get

Thinking about isolated place to step
Where no one can't recognize
Just a place to remove all the sickness
Poorly, not even once have brave

If just, have stronger control
It would be different
From which the day start in

Come, whenever there is a chance
Stay, while your heart whispered
But choose what is good

Still

Funny when you stop and think, Time goes faster than you blink, Nothing’s ever like it was, Girl we’ve got a special thing, Your the happiness it brings, Is more than enough, I know it’s hard to believe, Your still the biggest part of me, All I’m living for.

It’s hard to breathe when we’re apart, You’re that sunshine in my heart, I keep you here inside, You’ve been everything to me, You’ve been and always will be, The apple of my eye, And I know it’s hard to believe, Your still the biggest part of me, All I’m living for.

I still think about you, I still dream about you, I still want you and need you by my side, I’m still mad about you, All I ever wanted was you, Your still the one, your still the one.

If you love me, look into my eyes and say you do, I’ve been waiting all my life for someone just like you, Baby after all we’ve been through.

Girl I’m still in love with you, And I want you to know, I do, I do.

Song from Bryan Mcknight, love ... love ... the song

You Are Still The One

7 Years Old Boy And Girl

"Why r u asking me to play this gross game ?" the boy asked "It is not gross. Yesterday, my mom took me to wedding invitation. I saw beautiful groom and bride with white dress. I want to be like that someday. So ... stop complaining ... you should stay behind me as the fake groom"

10 Years Old Boy And Girl

"Why do you ask me to go to birthday party ? i don't like ur friend ... she is a nerd in my class" the boy said. "Stop it, she is not a nerd as u think. She is my best friend, so do u. We can be a great friends till end"

12 Years Old Boy And Girl

"Where do u will continue ur junior high ? can i come with u ?" the girl asked. "No ... just take another school. I am good with my basket ball team in my chosen school" the boy shrink.

13 Years Old Boy And Girl

"Please help me to do my homework" The boy pleased on the phone "No way ... u can ask ur friends, but not me. I have to go on my music course" The girl put off the phone

15 Years Old Boy And Girl

"Why u not choose one of ur class mate to the prom ?" The boy asked. "I wont, i don't believe them so do my mom. So u r the only solution which i have" The girl stares him with sincere.

16 Years Old Boy And Girl

"I had applied the same senior high school as u did. R u mind ?" The boy asked. "No, not at all. While ... you will busy with some girls later. And please ... stop flirting to many girls. It is suck ... u know that" The girl leave him alone on the ice cream store.

18 Years Old Boy and Girl

"I don't know what should i do ? should i take his offer to having dinner with him ?" Asked the girl. "No way ... he is a jerk. All his want only playing you". Answered The boy "What ... how dare saying like that. Stop talking with me!"

21 Years Old Boy and Girl

"I want u take care my the only one daughter, i trust u Son " The father of the girl shakes his hand. "I'll try my best. As long as she is not as stubborn as i know" The boy shrink. "Dad ... stop it. And u stop it ... he is not my boyfriend even my big brother ... I am okay in this dorm university"

22 Years Old Boy and Girl

"Is it ur girlfriend ?" The girl asked then the boy nod. "Tell her, i wont take u anywhere. I hate the way she looked. Stop being jealous, we are nothing"

23 Years Old Boy and Girl

"Once u make her cry ... once u will face me Okay !" The boy talked to The girls' boyfriend. "Watch ur mouth. U r nothing to her. Should i remember u where ur place before ?" The girls' boyfriend sharpen the stare.

25 Years Old Boy and Girl

The girl went go to the boy's apartment. Knocked the door "What happen to u ? u r so awful" The boy asked. The girl just hug him tightly and cry "My heart pain, we broke up. He got engage with her mother chosen girl"

27 Years Old Boy and Girl

"Thank u for the treat, why u don't take her. It is ur birthday" The girl dress beautifully "We just broke yesterday. She had found another and confessed it to me" The boy smiles and lowering his head. "I am sorry ... u can count on me as ur sharing place. Thats the friends are for right ?" the girl smile tenderly.

28 Years Old Boy and Girl

"Good bye ... take care okay. Please keep an eye to my parents, i am counting u" The girl hug the boy tightly. "I will, whenever u arrive, call me okay. I'll wait ... ur call ... i mean. Be success in ur promotion Okay" The boy smiles. The person in front of him, will fly thousand miles away from him. "Being good ... in future Okay"

30 Year Old Boy and Girl

"Why u don't tell me that u will come ?" The girl surprised whenever he found The boy already in front of apartment "Surprise cuz ... it is ur birthday. Meanwhile i bring many gifts from ur parents" The boy smiles. "And ur gift ... for me ?" her eyes sparkling as like as an ice. The boy takes the gift, "I can only give this" He takes the ring and put on her sweet finger "Just be mine. From now, then and later" The boy caressed the girl face, she cried. "At seven i had told u to be my fake groom on my backyard home, now you are here ... as my future groom in front of my door" The girl smiled. "We are too fool to realize that we had been tied into one from seven till end" he kissed her gently. "Love u" Said The boy "Love u" Replied The girl.

Unspoken

If only have courageous that time,
this love won't end like this
if there is persistence,
the story won't last this way

This love had left wound
Linger many nights with tears,
Memorizing the love

What is love ?
Which beyond the whole thing
How about fate ?
Which hard to adjust, merely to understand

A person ever loves you with whole soul

A Heart Which Left In You - Part 2

"Would you come Anne ?" he asked me on the messenger "Hopefully" i wrote it "I want to meet you" it seemed fade me away "And will be lovely to know your fiancee" I waited another messenger, one minute, two minutes, five ... to few minutes later "We are not engaged yet Anne". I shocked "What did you mean ?" okay, i was not curious about it but my thought raced nowhere "I will marry in next two weeks" it must be a good news for me but not at all "Marry ? next two weeks ? crazy you are, surprise" i wrote in speed "Maybe, but please come early before the wedding, i really want to meet you Anne. Can you ?". I couldn't reply his messenger, i took and healed deep breathe, needed a space and air to calm" Hello ... Anne, do you faint or die there :) ?" my phone rang again, i typed new messenger to him "I am not, i'll think about it. I have to go" i was signed off from the conversation. Need some times to set with all of it.

-

"Mom, why you look so quite ?" Jason climbed to my bed and laid beside me "I am Okay honey" I kissed his checks and smiled "You are not. In my school if there was a girl cried it would something bad happened. What is wrong mom ?". Okay, Jason not an adult but he is quite bright for his ages. "I am ... fine" i answered shortly. "You are not, i saw your eyes watered". Wait, Jason just saw me cried. "Really ?" i asked him then he nod. Jason hugs me "Something wrong with me, am i that bad Mom ?" i felt my tears run "No, you are good, don't say that. It is not related with you even dad" i tried to comfort him. Jason still see me with curiosity. "I am okay honey" I smiled and hug him tightly.

A Heart Which Left In You - Part 1

Chicken Soup For The Couples Souls

It wasn't a new book and wasn't the latest book i have read. I like to read chicken soup session for kid, mother, teacher and now the couple. From my opinion chicken soup it made to support, motivate, warm your passion to step in life. That was why the author made many sessions for chicken soup because they knew, human were living like a circle. We were born as a baby, grew up to toddler, teen, mature finally granny. We never be able to live alone, it is not a caution but it is warning. If you, reader, have not read yet this book. Me, as always be a santa, will give freely which sourced by 4 shared. Oh, i love 4 shared much not least i love IDM (Internet Download Manager) to make it easier and faster.
Here comes the ebook : Have Enjoy Chicken Soup For The Couples Souls (click and link it).
Then, if you have troubled while downloading it, try to email me on ryza_febriasty@yahoo.com or leave the messages on my chat box i would help you.

See on another ebook guys.

A Heart Which Left In You - Part 1

I used to come to this cake shop which offer delight cakes, cookies, ice cream, tea to coffee. What cake i like most is opera cake which pour with hazelnut prickers. Love to drink jasmine sure with sugar free with one cup green mint ice cream with cherry on top. I spend much time here just fro reading a novel, less tiring or just want to be alone like i prefer right now.

Melissa, the waitress who is so lovely served me whenever i came to this place "So, how your life today ?" asked her while placing the order on the table. "What you see ?" replied me with bit smile "Oh ..., seems not a good day huh ?". "All i need is hug, you know that" Joked her then laughed. She let me with my order. I sipped the tea, today i ordered mint tea, closed my eyes and once saw my cellphone. I'm not waiting my husband even the only one son called me. I waited an email, a text or could be a messenger. But not one of if it signed. My sight was empty, looked to the wall which is made by glass. An hour left, and goes to two and half hours. I still freezing with an empty sight, "Hello ..., are you here ?" Melissa came and once again greet me "Am i that lost ?" I smiled to her "A lot, any story which you want to share ?" asked her politely "Even i hard to start to talk"  laughed "Just the bill please, just hard to breath right now" added to joke. "Holly sick ... why don't die later on" we both laughed a lot".

-

Morning as usual hectic time in my house, my litle son who just entered elementary school run over the house just put him a uniform school "Jason, honey ... let mommy put your clothes on" what the crazy is i try to run to catch him with his clothes in my hands, "Mommy ... mommy ... get me". I stand in the kitchen where he is hiding under the table "Mommy sees you Jason, don't let mommy eat you like a dino" seems like silly scary thing but usually work "Mommy ... dino never eat me, they already died" oh yeah ... please ... if you just know how smart you are why you have run over the house to make me put on your clothes !!!!.

I grab his hands slowly under the table "Come on Jason, wear this" i put on the clothes along with the pants, the color of the uniform is white and green. "Stay here please, i'll bring the shoes okay". For a moment i bring a pair of shoes and tie them "Mommy ... i love you" suddenly he hug me, the most warm thing i ever find this week. He surely can't know what i'm feeling right now. He just 7 years old but he did everything i need "Jason, mommy loves you also"

-

The sun comes down to my window office, i lay my head to the upper comfort couch and let the report on the table. I could be super woman, i could be squidward on Sponge Bob cartoon nickeledeon who has many hands, i could be bernard bear who always do silly and joking thing just to make me happy, but what is real that i'm a wife with one gorgeous son. I have been married for 8 years. I already havd what all women want, career, married life, happy family, lovely son, good house, nice car and loving husband. What is loose from me ?. I just don't know what has lost. Sometimes i want to get rid for all i have, i just want to go one place where no one knows about me, who i am, where i was from, when i was born, what i do for live, why i have unique taste, and how i through this life. To a place where is really new for me. Stay away from any who close with me but ... how come i leave Jason alone without me ? The son who i adore for, the son who i made many sacrifices in time, effort and pray.

I unlock my cell and start to push the email, there is no new inbox, there are only one sender on the list. Someone who always send and reply my email wherever is, whatever is and however is. Someone who had been my close one since i am single to married person. The deep secret which i never told to anyone. He is ... yes he is a man who is too younger than me. Don't be suspicious that i have an affair with him, it is obviously wrong. I start to read his last email "It is obviously out my mind. You know what ... finally i will marry her". I smiled when re-read his email. They had been dated almost two years not his first girl and will be the last for him. But, why my heart feels worry after received this email. What was wrong with me ?

-

To Be Continue To Part 2

I Found You

Love Can Find In Unpredictable Moment

She sipped her coffee and turned her face down. Weary, sad, confuse and afraid. Once again she let her father keep talking on phone "You are my only solution, i really don't know where to ask help. I need that money immediately". 'But the sum of money is too much dad. 20 million ?" her voice lower and deep, she felt faint to realize the number. "Talk to your husband, ask him to lend me. I promise to give back all in short time". The conversation is ended, she is too afraid to talk to her husband. Talk about it seems like try to kill herself slowly.

.

Next day.

"Did he promise ?" her husband asked for sure "He said so. Can you help him, help me ?" She stared his eyes full of hoping. "If he said so, okay" he moved to small drawer in room, took a account book and gave it to her "Take it from here, the deposit. Make sure he pays it back. The money is belongs to us, our plan to buy a house. Immediately we will leave this apartment. Don't you get it ?'. She nodded don't know to understand or afraid.

.

A few weeks later.

"Have you called him ?" her husband asked her. "I did, he said next week" she turned her face down and did some core things in room. Try to less her worry. "Next week, and the other weeks. I really bore to hear that. Let me clear this. The money is your responsibility. I won't take over of it. End of this month he must pay it back, nether less ... I don't know what to do".

.

Her heart racing, her eyes started to wet "Why you talked like that, why you talked like that to my father. Don't you respect him ?" She sit across from him "I tried to respect him. But again and again he never respect me" he walked around her. The selfishness, anger and distrusts covered him. "He never said thank you to me, everything he said -hey, handle this one, take this one, but never and ever he said any thanks to me".

.

She stood with trembling "You are in million, I never seen any who can talk that harsh to my father in front of my eyes. It's too much". "I feel sorry to you and him of course, but it can change anything". She wiped her tears "Don't worry about the money, I'll pay it by myself".

.

One week after.

Morning sky looked clear and bright. Today she has a meeting with an important client. She prepared it from night. He wear beige long blazer to knee with brown blouse inside and not less the beige belt with the same fabric with the blazer. She looked stunning.

.

"Good morning Sir, I'm Aida the secretary of Mr. Albright. He can't come today because he had duty trip. Here this some files which he gave it to me. You can take a look of these" she opened her bag and over him some files. "Thank you Aida, I'm Finn". He opened one by one the paper and sometimes asked some questions to her. The meeting run well, she was glad he could handle the task what her manager gave it to her. "Well, Aida. Can I call you in that way ?", she nodded. "I'm a new comer in this country, so can you give me a favor ?". "What kind of favor Sir ?" asked her. "Have a dinner with me, I feel strange to have dinner by myself. Is it too much ?".

.

Well, the meeting is already on her task list but, the dinner is out of the list. "It's not on my list Sir, my priority is the meeting". He smiled seems like to tease her but in polite way. "Aida, I’m a good person. Don't you think I'm trying to scam you" he laughed. "No, not in my think. Just ... " she took her fingers grumpily and smiled to him "I already married Sir". Finn laughed more "Dinner and affair is totally different Aida, no more excuse okay. Tonight in Four Season Ballroom, I will book it. I have not much time, next morning my plane is on. I will bring the files which I signed for Mr. Albright"

.

The night.

Okay, this dinner just to take those files not more. She already told to her husband, Kieran, and the reaction just fine. She wore black long dress, elegant and far from the party gown. Four seasons is the most luxury hotel that she ever knew. She missed the time with Kieran spend few dinner here. Married was not a hell but after the 'money accident' she looked confuse about him, how Kieran can talk that harsh to her father. Her father not a criminal, he must be sure to pay that money back. Each month Aida has to keep some money to pay it back.

.

"Mr. Finn please" She talked to a receptionist, "Number eight Miss", "Thank you" she smiled and walked to table eight. She gasped, this place is her favorite table with Kieran. "Nice to see you come, have a seat Aida. Don't be too formal". She sit and looked fidget to him. "I'm not used to have dinner with any beside my husband". "I try to understand" He smiled and ordered food and light beverages. The food is totally delicious ; shrimp grill with butter potato surround with olive oil. "Here these the files. Please send me an honor to have cooperation with him. So ... do you like the food" asked him. Aida took the files and put it on her lap. "Awesome". "Nice, so … talking about you, what your husband do ?”. “He is a dentist”, “Amazing, do you often to come here?”. She smiled “It’s my favorite place, and right now we sit on my favorite table Sir”

.

“I can’t come with you to your house, I have many things to do. You can go by your own. Take taxi with you, here the money”. “But you promised to drive me go there” she talked to Kieran. “And I have told you again and again why you don’t take driver lesson” It is enough, “Okay it’s fine I can go by myself”. Is not about the car, is not about he not come but is all about the way he talked.

.

Next day.

She received a small present on her desk. “Mr. Albright, do you want me to wrap this to you” Aida called to her manager by phone “No, it’s not for me, but it’s for you”. “From whom ?” she asked confusedly “From Mr Finn. He said, he felt thank for the meeting and especially the dinner”. Slowly she opened the the box, directly she saw beautiful bracelet with small diamond on the center.

.

Mail by mail she and Finn were connected, started from thank you greeting for the present and more informal mails just to share the lively story. It’s the first time Aida feels have friend beside Kieran, all this time she just think his friend is her husband for one package. But more she realized that she could find someone to share freely without any compromise.

.

One day her father called again, he needs some money to pay tuition her brother. The project of her father not goal yet. Her father already retired, with some friend he work as project supplier but the money sometimes not good enough to pay tuition her two brothers who still in college. On the other side her husband wants his money back immediately. She totally confused, she has nothing. Even she can’t reach 5 million on her saving. Not once she think to ask money from her husband, is better to lend to bank or other friend. The one precious thing she only has is the diamond bracelet which Finn gave him. She opened her drawer and took it. “I’m sorry, but I have to sell it”

.

September 2010.

“Here this the money which my father borrowed. Sorry to take it long” She wrote again “I feel sorry to you why you had changed a lot. You never said that harsh to me even to my father before. Once you ask apologize I really can accept and respect for what you did. But more and more I just feel you are not love me as Aida as before. I’m your wife, same like you I need you to appreciate and respect for all I did to you. You had said that you wont any family member involved with us, but I can’t Kieran. My family is everything for me. I love them more than I love my self. I can’t let my family live in lack. If I should choose I better to choose my family. Our marry is nothing if we can’t respect our parents together.

.

November 2010.

This divorce left pain in my heart, hard to believe her husband asked this divorce and how come she faced this path alone. She waited on the airport about 30 minutes on arrival alley. Her heart raced as long with her pulse. After few months after their first met, she couldn’t imagine how he looked alike. As she saw a tall man with warm smile came over her, she just hug him let all people surrounding them watched. They might be thought they were long distance couple, but they were not. Finn was someone who had been with her when she facing hard time. “I lost my husband and last week I lost my dad, he just said that he can’t let my mother wait that long anymore above there”. They walked slowly “I read your mail, I understand. Don’t you know that you never alone”.

.

Finn smiled “I want give you an offer”, “What kind an offer Finn ?”, “Tonight, have a dinner with me, lets we start our met like our first date”. Her tears were running “I found someone when I was down, and it was you Finn” she said what he kept since long. “Thank you to come to my dinner invitation that night”. Finn hug her slowly, deep in his heart he want to be with her as long as they could.

Cecilia Ahern E-book

Hellouw...,

I know i am very late to read P.S I love You Novel. I have seen the movie uhm ... not too exciting. But ..., on my last birthday on February, my ass.man gave me that novel for a gift. When i read the 1st chapter i felt overwhelmed-excited. The novel seems nicer than the movie :). Cecilia Ahern is a fresh written, i like the way she describes word by word.

So..., the good news is ... i have some e-book from Cecilia Ahern. Just hit in and save it. See..., how nice i am ?.

Have a holly reading.

1. If you could see me now
2. Love, Rosie - Where rainbows end
3. Thanks for the memories

Fight for Women

I love Oprah, because she is the one who always fight to women ; independence, freedom, right, ability, welfare and off course safety. I visit her website regularly and always find fabulous - awesome inside.

Hardly to imagine Oprah will end her show in 2012, i am sure she has own reason to quit from Oprah Show and begin to air Oprah Channel TV herself.

This article open my mind that somewhere in our world there are women who still fight to live from abuse, sex trafficking, rape, racism, slavery, lack of knowledge, in-welfare and many many the others things which hard to write one by one.

I am lucky to be born as woman, i am gratefull someday i will be a mother, i am happy to feel tummy sick each month for my PMS, and i am happy to a quote "wherever you want to find heaven, it is placed under you mother's feet".

Women around the world don't need handouts. They need handups. How small loans can help women everywhere stand on their own.

At the peak of the transatlantic slave trade, 80,000 slaves were transported from Africa to the new world. Today, more than 10 times as many women are being forced into brothels or other forms of slavery.

In places like the Congo, rape is used as a weapon to destroy women's lives, as victims are often made outcasts by their communities and struggle to survive.

In many parts of the world, getting pregnant is the most dangerous thing a woman can do. In fact, a woman dies from pregnancy and labor every minute—the equivalent of five jumbo jets of women dying every day.

When just one girl is educated, she shares what she knows with the community. When a community knows better, they do better. You can be the key that unlocks the hidden potential.

Dropping The Tears

song of the day [embeed&download]

"Do you want to do something crazy ?" she smiles, let her fingers open widely to reach his fingers "Do you want to die together ?" she waits for another fingers reach hers. She closes her eyes, no matter what she will not move, her legs will be stiff and strict as like as a stone. It is not suicide, it is not regret, it is not lost mind, it just relieve. She stands at center on road, she let everything is free this moment. Dim light of a car fade her eyes, but she just ignored it. One ... the car still run toward her, two ... she still close her eyes, three ... she is ready to die.

Her fingers not cold as before, there is one person walks toward her slowly but surely to reach those fingers "Don't leave me ... lets we die together" he hugs her deeply. The dim light turn off "Hey you two ..., are you nuts ? move away, please find another place to take suicide !!!!!" the driver shouted as barked to them.

The girl opens her eyes "Don't you see, even God not let us to die in this way" the tears turns slowly over her cheek "Should we find another way to die ? i can't bare this anymore".

#####

This love is called pain. Pain to pretend that there is no love between them. Emily is an ordinary girl who work as pianist at the famous cafe in town. Bi is an extraordinary boy who is famous and completely bright star. Their first met was about one year ago, that time after filmed shoot there were many reporters run toward him. What he thought just private time for his lunch. He opened his bag and took a cap then put on his head, walked slowly to a girl who just out from storage room "I need you hug to cover me from them outside, can you help me ? i'm sure they wont recognize me here" he grabbed Emily's hand then hug her as like as they were a couple who not see for a long time "I wont forget your helping me" whispered him on her ear.

The day after, Emily received a bouquet of yellow rose on her piano "Thank you -Bi-" it was written from Bi for her, A famous movie star just gave her yellow rose ? it was nonsense. At first time, emily didn't pay attention for it, but more after she felt something different whenever she found Bi in Cafe to watch her played piano every night.

#####

"Get well soon K, i miss you" slowly tears are down. A person that she loves just lie for almost 6 months because fire accident, he being hospitalized because Emily. He runs into fire to save her, Emily is safe but her parents and brother died. K is not die yet, but he can't move, can't talk even open his eyes. K is a person who always beside her, a person who always guard her, a person who substitute as father - mother and brother because she is an orphan right now, a person who loves her all heart and sincere. It is her first love. His name is just K, he always be on top list in everything because his short name, Emily smiles whenever the memories remain back about K.

One night, K condition dropped to 40%, all over his body was cold as a die person. Emily ruined into bare time to wait K all night, waited the ICU room door opened and the doctor would tell her that everything was fine. She stood on her knee hours and hours in the corner, shaked, cried and afraid, all she knew if K died she would have no one in this world.

"Is okay Em" Suddenly Bi came and hug her from back. She knew for sure, she felt relieved that Bi was there that night not because she needed a friend but Bi has took half of her heart.

#####

Is it wrong to let this feeling grow ? Is it wrong to let this feeling become deep love ? It is different, very different. This feeling toward Bi is different than K. How come she become heartless person like this ? K is there right on hospital force to die and live but how come she let herself fall into Bi ?. Many thought roll over in mind.

Tonight the temperature is lower, she can't walk anymore but she have to keep walking to move away those thought. Emily doesn't recognize that Bi follows her. At once she falls, her feet feel heavy, the cold wraps her as like as ice cube, her heart feels weary because guilty, her tears never stop and she falls again. Just let fall and silent "I'm sorry K, i'm sorry ...". Bi walks slowly to reach her "You must be tired, how come a girl can walk that far in this stupid cold, come ... lets we eat some soup and hot chocolate" Bi tries to make her stand and walk, but Emily again and again refuse it. "Leave me Bi, don't you see ... you are worthless in here", "Come ... do you want to stay in here all night ?" he sees her tears start over down again. "I will if i want, what is you intention follow me until this far ? what is your purpose to tutor me like this ? i'm not yours ... don't you see i have K there, why you always around me ? leave me Bi ... i said leave me ... don't you understand ? don't you hear ... leave me Bi, forget everything ... just leave me" her voice is in deep sorrow.

Bi grabs Emily hand, hold her tightly and put her on his back "Are you deaf ? let me down" again and again Emily shouted to Bi but not a single word out from his mouth. That night he take Emily with him.

#####

Even the cafe nearly closed, but Bi is still there listening Emily play the piano. The last guest give an applause for Emily playing and please to go home. Emily still seat in her seat as like as Bi. It is love that he never said, it is love that he never had, it is love that should not keep. Everyone is pleased going home, the lamp just turn off, what is left just Bi and Emily. Bi put off his cap and glasses walking near to Emily. "I will take you home" he smiles and walks toward the door. "Bi ..., K will be out from hospital tomorrow, i decided to live with him ... marry him" her voice blends into sorrow and weary. "Have you taken all you things, i will take you home" seems like Bi wont listen everything on it. Bi keep walking toward the door while Emily walked back from him. Bi turns the door "I am sorry Bi ... " Emily hugs him "I can't leave K, I'm sorry .... we are not fate belong together. I'm sorry Bi ... Lets we pretend we never met before ... " Bi turns, sees Emily in sorrow, he is crying, there are many word which he wants to talk but seems blur at first. Bi kisses Emily gently and become deeply "I love you Em". Emily let herself going with that kiss, even she knows it will make them more pain after this. Emily takes Bi hands, takes him with her, for this night, only this night, let he becomes mine just tonight.

"Do you want to do something crazy ?" she smiles, let her fingers open widely to reach his fingers "Do you want to die together ?" she waits for another fingers reach hers. She closes her eyes, no matter what she will not move, her legs will be stiff and strict as like as a stone. It is not suicide, it is not regret, it is not lost mind, it just relieve. She stands at center on road, she let everything is free this moment. Dim light of a car fade her eyes, but she just ignored it. One ... the car still run toward her, two ... she still close her eyes, three ... she is ready to die.

Her fingers not cold as before, there is one person walks toward her slowly but surely to reach those fingers "Don't leave me ... lets we die together" he hugs her deeply. The dim light turn off "Hey you two ..., are you nuts ? move away, please find another place to take suicide !!!!!" the driver shouted as barked to them.

The girl opens her eyes "Don't you see, even God not let us to die together" the tears turns slowly over her cheek "Should we find another way to die ?, i can't bare this anymore"

#####

After K out from hospital, Emily married with K. K still can't talk, need wheelchair to walk but he can move her body bit by bit. Emily let her love to Bi keep in heart.

"Be strong K" she smiles to K. All she needs is K strength to keep alive. She holds his hand while she is sleeping. K caress Emily face gently until he sleeps away "Thank you Emily ... please live well okay ... everytime you see mountain that will as high as my love to you, everytime you see sky that will as wide as my love to you, everytime you see ocean that will as deep as my love to you".

In the morning when Emily try to wake K "Good morning K, open your eyes, lets we walk this morning. I will take you to deep pine forest nearby our house, don't you like it ?".

It just word for K, it just something which wont be accomplished because K had passed away last night.

#####

Emily back to town, works again in the same cafe. Day and day she waits to one person, it is Bi. But he never appear even once.

Until one day, "It is very beautiful playing, i had been heard this playing before" a guest told her so. "Thank you, you must be stick customer in here right, i just play this song in here" Emily smiles "And i never published that song into publick before" Emilly adds. "I am not too often come here, even i just know that you are part in this cafe" a guest said so. "Oh really, well ... where you have heard this song before ?". "My patient, he always play this song every night. He said he wanted to hear this song before he sleeps, afraid that he will miss it next morning, no one know how if next morning he will be still alive or no". Emily smiles "Really, i'm glad that i can give your patient that strong. Please send my greeting for him". "I will, but ... how about you come with me to see him. I'm sure your presence will bring more courage for him. Do you want ?". Emily nods "I love to".

#####

It is the same hospital where K did. The same hospital where Bi always beside him whenever she needs power, she needs shoulder to cry on, she needs someone to kill the time and Bi always there ... seems like he always follow her everywhere.

"It is the room, i will take you to see him" the doctor open the door "Wait Doc ... is it okay ? or ... just give this CD to him, i recorded another songs for him, to make him always bear in everything" said Emily. "It's fine, come with me" said the doctor.

The room is so silent, there is only him in this room. "It is out of his habit, listen your song in this time, meanwhile not his sleep time yet" the doctor smiles to Emily.

"Hello ... sir ... how are you ? getting better after last operation ?" asked the doctor

"Getting better Doc", Emily is freezing she really know that voice, that is only one person who has that voice.

"I bring someone to you, i'm sure you'll love it. She is the player of the song that you played every night"

Emily walks slowly toward that person, his head is bold, closer and closer. It is Bi right there, lie on the bed, in sorrow eyes and tears when he sees Emily.

#####

The first met at Cafe exactly not the first time Bi saw Emily. He had seen Emily same day when K being hospitalized. That was love at first time he saw a girl felt lonely, weary, sorrow and lost. He always there because he had to check regularly. Directly Emily gave him strength to keep alive, did his role as famous star, keep away the fact that he is sick. More over Emily left, more over he lost the strength. He didn't have any reason to keep strength, there was no reason for him had to keep alive to next morning if Emily wasn't there.

"Is it cold Bi ?" asked Emily, "No, it is warm, because you are here with me. You are as like as my electric blanket for me". "Are you sure you want to do this crazy things with me Bi ?" asked Emily. "Don't doubt about it. I wait another crazy things to do together" Bi smiles and laughs.

"Bi ... i owe you some words" Emily smiles to Bi, hold him more tight, caress his face, wipe his tears. "What Em ?".

Emily hugs Bi, whispers in his ear "I love you Bi, love you at first time you hug me at the cafe"

They see each other, eye by eye. Smile to smile. They kiss gently, and might be last kiss for them.

Emily takes Bi to her house in village where he and K lived. Take him to deep pine forest where she wanted to take K before he died. They sit together under the pine forest, morning to night, all day. They let their body die in freezing. But they wont let their love die, let this love sprung like seeds.

Myths But Sometimes Prooven

Chocolate
Grandma's wisdom: Chocolate gives you pimples.
Science says: Not quite. Chocolate bars might trigger an acne flare-up, but if so, the culprit is probably the sugar, milk, and gooey fillings, not the cocoa.

Apple
Grandma's wisdom: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Science says: Granny's overstating this fruit's potency. Still, the peel is a good source of quercetin, an important antioxidant that, studies suggest, helps lower blood pressure, fight asthma and allergies, and prevent heart attacks.

Hair
Grandma's wisdom: If you go out with wet hair, you'll catch a cold.
Science says: Maybe. Some research indicates (but doesn't prove) that a wet head helps cold viruses take hold, by tightening blood vessels in the nose and making it harder for white blood cells to reach the viruses and fight them off.

Air Conditioning
Grandma's wisdom: Sleeping in air-conditioning can give you a chill.
Science says: She may be onto something. Air conditioners dry out the protective layer of mucus along nasal passages, which likely allows viruses to infect you more easily. Viruses reproduce faster inside a cold nose too.

Butter
Grandma's wisdom: Put butter on a burn.
Science says: No. There's no evidence of a benefit from butter.

Honey
Grandma's wisdom: Honey speeds healing.
Science says: Yes. Mild to moderate burns (but not other types of wounds) heal faster if you spread honey on them -- maybe because it creates a moist, antibacterial environment that promotes tissue growth.

Swimming
Grandma's wisdom: Swimming after eating can lead to cramps and drowning.
Science says: Not exactly, but not completely wrong either. After you eat, blood gets shunted to your digestive tract and away from exercising muscles. That can lead to a buildup of lactic acid in your muscles, so swimming a few laps too soon after lunch could cause a sudden (though not fatal) cramp.

Ginger
Grandma's wisdom: Ginger is good for upset stomachs.
Science says: Yes. Good evidence shows ginger reduces nausea.

At 1st As Penpal At Last Being Partner In Life

Whenever i read this story, my heart thrilled ... then wondered ... how if that happened to me, what would i do ?. 19 years are really not long period as i know and surely you know also. It is not an issue that love can come into many ways. Love never can't read in logic and can't realize when it starts. I believe people who have faith like this will always tie up til end. Congrat for you two ... and i hope people out there who still be alone keep their big heart that love will find you whatever, whenever, however, and wherever you are.

Jaime Benefit and Jeremy Clayton met as pen pals during the 1991 Persian Gulf War.

It started with a letter - and ended in a wedding.
Nearly two decades ago, 13-year-old Jaime Benefit wrote a letter addressed to "Any Soldier" during the Persian Gulf War, expressing her support for the troops as they prepared to invade Iraq.
The letter made its way to Pfc. Jeremy Clayton, a 19-year-old soldier from Charleston, S.C., who was serving with the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment.
The two became pen pals, writing back and forth about sports, high school and their families.
"Just stuff to keep their minds off of what was going on and keep their spirits up," said Benefit, 32.
After the war ended, the two stopped writing, but Benefit always wondered what happened to Clayton.
"I'd always kept his letters," she said. "I had them wrapped in a red-white-and-blue ribbon."
Earlier this year, she searched his name on Facebook and sent him a short note: "Were you in Desert Storm?"
Clayton, 38, now out of the Army, saw the message and had one reaction: "Shock and awe."
"I just knew I had to find out what she was doing," he recalled.
The two agreed to meet in March, and their fate was sealed.
"It took my breath," Clayton said of seeing his one-time pen pal in the flesh. "I was actually shaking and I'm a pretty strong man. I just said to myself, 'You have to do whatever you can to make sure you spend the rest of your life with this woman.'"
Clayton proposed not long after, and the two got married July 15 in a simple ceremony on the beach in Charleston.
"It was fate that I got her letter," he said. "And her finding me 19 years later was fate."
The Internet may have brought the newlyweds together, but they still rely on good old pen and paper to keep their bond strong.
"She writes me notes every morning and puts them in my lunch," he said.

All You Need for Your Eyebrows

I'm absolutely agree with this. What are things can make your face different and make over ? 1st : your cut and stylish new hair, 2nd : your new color hair, and 3rd but not the last : your eyebrows shape. Put beside about make up ... everybody knows ... very know make up can trick you to be a beautiful one. But the three things i wrote before was true. Whenever you change your hair and color it you will be a different person so do the the eyebrow shape. This one really can bring something BIG DIFFERENT on your face even your personality. Here these some pictures as proof and can be inspiration for you ... especially for girls :).

Note : I compiled these pictures by using paint.net