The Secret of Luck - Interisting

Wish i always in luck, 'cause i have own ratio in life : 25% is effort, 37.5% is fate, and rest 37.5% is luck. How hard effort I made, it would be nothing if God didn't give me luck and write as my fate.

Why do some people have all the luck while others are perpetually unlucky? Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire was determined to get to the scientific bottom of the phenomenon of luck, and what he discovered may surprise you :

I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, have been interviewed by me. I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50'.

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

Since Beginning, Right Now and Later This Love Will be Remain and Still Same

“No, I won’t through this with you anymore. Just go !”
“What are you talking about ? are you sick or something ?”
“I am fine, I just want you to let me go”
“What is wrong ?”
“Nothing wrong”
“So … what made u said so ?”
“Because … ‘cause …. You are not good for me”
“Not good for you ? Oh … what mean of all this”
“No mean. Just let me go. I have to go”
“Where do you want to go ? Let me come with you”
“Ohh … stop it. It is enough, let me go … just … let … me … go …, you are not good enough for me”
“If you want so, I will go”
“Ya, I want so …, I am going now … “
Her shadow already went along with dark night. He felt his heart aching but once beat faster. He just know, it will happen … but please not now …, why should happen when he feels love at first time. He had felt in love with young widow. That is a problem, he had felt in love with a widow that called forbidden love.

One year passed

“Come on Jake, don’t make me wait too long “ his friend, Andri, suddenly come beside him “Yes sure, so … where would be going tonight ?” asked Jake. “How about … uhm … Bugs Café” Jake nods to show agreement. “And please, don’t ask Alice to come in”, “Why Jake ? it is okay to take Alice with us. Please … I need your help tonight. You know … where Alice goes there will be Jemima also. I like Jemima, just help me bit tonight Jake, I like Jemima … make this easy” Jake rounds his eyes once “Oh you are …, you are using me just because you want Jemima. Okay … this time … I help you. You really count me much about this”. Andri face looks more round than before “That friend is for … okay … let’s go. They are waiting us”.

Minute by minute pass by alike hour turn hour. “So … have your mom told you that I will stay here ?” Alice smile sweetly to Jake “Stay here ? what you mean ?” asked Jake. “Jake, Alice told me that she would work here”, Jake looks to Andri to make sure that Andri won’t tease him. After looked Andri’s face, he was sure that Andri serious “Work here ? uhm … what make this … “ Jemima interrupts Jake “Alice will live in my apartment. She had considered to work here”. “Oh … that is nice” Andri smiles to Jemima, too sweet. “Oh … like that. So have plan ?” Jake feels he loose his words “Not much, I just got job at magazine as staff editor” answered Alice. Jake saw how enthusiast Andri heard that, but wasn’ too important for him. Since beginning his mom asked him to dating with Alice. Alice is an independent girl, smart, sweet and nothing less value with her. He had known Alice since in college, she is good so far. He convinced his mom about their relation that they were good friend not more than that, but everything was useless.

“Mom, why you don’t tell me that Alice will move here ?” Asked Jake to his mother on phone, “I just want to make surprise for my only one son” replied his mother. Only one son, seem heard that he has been lonely so long. After his father died, his mother looked dominated his life totally. “Ouw, it is worked then”. “Come on Jake, lovely … she is nice more than nice, she is an excellent girl for me. I hope in same way with you also. What is wrong with her Jake ?”. “Nothing Mom, she is … just … perfect” oh … perfect, honestly it is not one word which he consider to say. “See, she is perfect right. So I just hope, her plan to move here, will make you both more close. Jake … look … I want the best for you. Since you were born I have given you best and for the last I want you live in best also”. The best … she said the best, oh seems her said just make his stomach turned upside down. “I know … but give me … another option”.
“Option ? what you mean with another option Jake ?” asked her mother with low voice. “Mom, you had tutored me since long, just look at me know. I am 30 this year, at least just give me space to find my own option. Especially with that I love” answered Jake. He realized, it was a first time for him to say so. “I am not mean like that. You want you have another option to find. Like you had before, when you date with that woman, that widow … come on Jake. Look you, look at me as your mother, look your dad, look our family. Is she good enough for you, for me and for you dad ?. You have bright future Jake, and I won’t that widow to be my daughter in law” “Mom … that widow has a name, Ava. And she is enough for me, everything is enough for me if I have her with me” “Stop it Jake, you start to hurt your mother. Forget her, and please consider Alice. Because I want her as your wife” suddenly the phone put off.

6 Months Later

“Good evening Mr. Jake”
“Good evening, so what you have for me ?”
“As much as you want. So … she has florist store beside on pacific ocean building. Her daughter name is Mara who is in elementary grade three this year. She lives in small house town which is name the village number 6. Is the information enough ?”
“Too much, okay, my secretary will transfer the payment. Thank you for your good job”
“You are welcome”

Watch has showed 7 pm, he let his car engine shut down. From this far, he can see that florist store. Not too big and luxury just simple but elegant. Then … after an hour waited in parking lot, finally he can see what he really want to see since long. Ava. He sees Ava, get out from the florist store. She still same with long deep burgundy hair, her walks, her size, especially her eyes who always pure and bright …. everything still same. With all his brave, he get out from his car then walks toward Ava.

“Ava” Ava turns her body then suddenly stiff in a minute. She turns her body back and walks faster
“Please Ava … wait “, she can feel Jake already grabbed her right hand
“Oh my God, what are you doing ? I had said to you clearly that time, I want you go away from me”
“I am not go. But you, the one who go. I know you have moved, but I never known you have been moving and living here. In this city the same city where I worked in”
“So, do you think it is a fate … we meet here ?”
“You can say so” “Jake…, what you expect from me huh ?”
“I am not expect too much” “It is good, because you can’t expect that much, even bit. Look Jake, I am a widow with one daughter who has in elementary grade three. I am not rich, not famous even not pretty. So what make you hard to let me go, what is hard for you to do that?”
“Because I am too fool to still love you” She feels her body is stiff and freeze “Jake, what for you still keep that love, it is impossible for me, for you, even for your mother”
“It is not impossible for me, for you even for my mother. I love you Ava and still like that, since beginning, right now and later” Jake walks more close to Ava, in this close he can see Ava really still same
“I miss you, really, that much, I can’t let you go. Is it wrong to fall in love with a widow ?” “Nothing wrong to fall in love with a widow but it will be most tragic for your mother. Jake please, you are too important for your mother, don’t hurt her feeling just because of me. Just … forget me. I know Alice is better for you”
Ava start to walk hinder Jake, she presses her alarm button to open her car key lock,
“Alice … wait, what have you known about Alice ? Oh … what my mother has told you ?” “Nothing” answered Ava short
“What is nothing” Jake holds the car door,
“What … you hide for me?”
“Oh Jake I don’t hide any. Please Jake, I want to live in peace far away from kind of this matter” “What is nothing ?” once again Jake holds the car door.

In few minutes, they are in silent “Your mother asked me to go away from your life, she said to me, as a mother we know we want the best for our son and daughter. She said that you will be marry with Alice, even I never know what Alice is like. But I am sure, she is must be a good one for you. So Jake, everything is over. If I have to choose, I prefer to hurt you than hurt your mother. Come on Jack you know, and I know, your mother won’t me” “
She said so. That’s why that night you ruin everything”
“Jake, let me and my daughter live in peace”

3 months later

“I can’t do this any longer Mrs. Anne”
Alice sits beside Jake mother and holds her right hand
“I like Jake that much, but Jake not feels like that”
“Alice, don’t say that. It usually happen with couple who will be marry”
“No, it is different. Jake doesn’t love me. I can’t stand longer with that” “Jake will love you by time”
“I don’t know. Jake is a good person, why you don’t try to understand him ?”
“Oh, what are you talking about ?”
“You never give him option to choose, Mrs. Anne. You make Jake no choice to choose. When I asked him, why you choose this major he just said ‘cause my mom want this, then, why you build this company he just said ‘cause my mom want this, why you do this to me, he just said ‘cause my mom want to do so, until I asked why you want marry me you know what he said, he said because his mom said you are best for me. Mrs. Anne, you know how hurt I am heard that, even the way he has value based on your own value”
They silent in few minutes, “I am sorry to say this, but I can’t marry with Jake”

Ava sit in her terrace home, at once she nods down to see her daughter on her lap. She caresses Mara’s hair slowly, sings her favorite lullaby. “Mom, I miss dad” Mara holds her waist tightly “Yes, I miss him also. He is a pilot Mara, he must be on sky every time to watching us. Don’t worry. Yes, but I never seen him, how does he like ?”. Ava holds her breath seems cut off on her throat. “He is a god man, he is a good pilot. He always caresses you when you here, in my stomach. He loves you much Mara”, “Wow cool … then is he handsome or cute” Mara laughed. “Yes, he is. Have you seen his picture?”, Mara nod “He is too great. You know mom, even dad had placed on sky but I want to feel how does it like to have a real father ?”

“The like is still same the way you have me as your mother Mara”, “Oh … is it like that ?. But I feel it won’t be same mom. Look Vara, Catherine, Nuri and Gaily, their fathers always drop them every morning and train them how to swim”, one by one Mara tell her friends at school and it makes her heart aching. As if and as if … Mara’s wishes just become real when Jake still beside us. “I can do that also, I also drop you at school, teach you how to swim and … “ Mara interrupts “Mom … still won’t be same. But it is fine. I don’t need any father anymore, I have you is enough for me”

The store not too busy this day, every order already sent. So Ava can be relaxed bit, she sits and starts to make list what should buy this month. The most buy this week is white lily, she continues to write. “Nice flowers” hearing someone comes into her store, she stop writing and stand up. “What can I do for you Madam ?”, “Uhm … looking simple and nice flower for a gift”, “Uhm … okay, how about this, white iris flower”. Ava takes one iris flower and shows to that woman “It is nice Ava” Ava surprised. How that woman knows her name. Slowly that woman put off her hat and smiles at her. “Mrs. Anne…?” “Ava … Iris flower is right choice”. Ava feels her heart bit faster and worry why she can be here. “I will make this easy Ava. My intention to come here, to ask you and your daughter Mara to come to our house” “I am not in game anymore Mrs. Anne” “No … no … I am not mean like that. I can say … please come to my dinner invitation, and will be nice to ask Mara with you” “Even you know my name daughter, what mean all about Mrs. Anne. I think the last talk with you is enough for me. I won’t disturb your life, I mean you and Jake” “Please Ava, just say … I have realized I make mistake that times. Any chance for me to fix that ?” “What do you mean ?” “Ava, Jake, my son, loves you much. I can’t do any to erase you from his heart, you mean a lot for Jake. Ava … let we fix together, would you ?” “What for, Alice … ? “ Mrs. Anne interrupt Ava “We won’t be marry Ava. Jake just need you, he just want you. And as his mother, it is my job to fulfill that. Here this my address in this city, I will wait you at 8 pm. It is surprise for Jake, make sure you will come tonight. Really Ava … I am sincere do this. I will let my son has his own option. I am sure, you won’t disappointed me and Jake. See you Ava, and thank you for this white iris, I will take this” Mrs. Anne leaves her name card on table.

The watch signs 7.45 pm

“Mom, where will be go ?”
“To my friend’s house”
This house unfamiliar with me mom, whose belong this house ?”
“Mrs. Anne and Jake”
Mrs. Anne and Jake ? I never heard that name before”
“You will see them when we come in. So .. are you ready Mara?” Ava sees Mara nods once, showing her ready. Mara holds Ava fingers, wonder what will happen in there.
"So, you are coming Ava, thank you” Mrs. Anne opens the front door and hugs Ava carefully, “Thank you Ava. To forgive me and give Jake another chance” Slowly she hears Mrs. Anne cries in low voice,
“Please come in. oh … look … this beautiful one, you must be Mara” Mrs. Anne look to Mara and smiles at her “Yes, I am Mara. And you madam ?”,
“So sweet Mara, just call me granny Anne”. Mara makes narrow eyes “Granny Anne, but you not look granny yet”
“Mara … your behave please” Ava whispered to her ears. But look, what Mara said just make Mrs. Anne laughed a lot. Suddenly she holds Mara and Ava hands together, and they start to come in. They enter into middle of the house, “I will take Mara with me, don’t worry. You see Jake right there, he is not notice you here. He is become man year by year, go see him Ava”.

She just wonder what had been happened. Why she came to this house, the invitation, taken Mara with her and so on. Why she want to do this. Why … she just believe that. From this far, she can see how Jake look alike. As usual he always calm, one person who still in heart and always she miss every night. Day and night she just want to think logic and realistic that their forbidden love was just ended, but look now. There is a chance for them to make their dream real.

“Jake” Jake takes his head up slowly and turns his body
“Ava ?” slowly Ava walks close to Jake
“Don’t ask any why I am here, ‘cause I have no answer” she smiles to Jake “
Your mother invites me and my daughter, Mara, to have dinner with you and your mother”
“It is … “ Ava interrupts Jake,
“Jake, would you hug me ? I am too miss you much … I just feel stiff right now” Jake step his foot one, she sees Ava really close at him, as close as that time, he kisses Ava right eye once,
“I miss you that much also. I won’t see your tears, God already listened all my pray day and night”
“What is your pray ?” “
I want you back as mine, you are my first love and will be my last one”
“You are not my first but I want you for my last” Ava can see that smiles, happiness, from Jake face. Jake hugs her slowly, “There is one that you should know Ava” “
What is that ?”
“Since beginning, right now and later this love will be remain and still same” “And there is one that you should know Jake”
“What ?”
“When I have found you, everything is enough for me”

Ryza Febriasty

It Is a Secret - Whisper

I wish I could tell you how much I care
but all I can do is sit and stare.

I don't know how to explain this pain
it's driving me crazy
not being able to let it out-
I think I'll go insane.

You are special to me
in so many different ways
I don't know exactly
what sets you apart from the rest
but you've stolen my heart
straight from my chest.

It was locked with a key
opened only by me
'cause I didn't want to let anyone else in
but I opened it to you and let you in
and again over my mind my heart wins.

A feeling this strong can't be ignored
my heart has been whispering... have you heard?

Josie Doolan

When Distanace Talking - Distant

I can't see you

I can't smell you

I can't touch you

And I can't feel you

But, somehow, I know you're there.

A distance, so brutally far

A feeling, so uncomfortably near

It fills me with want and desire

And I realize - I must not conspire.

I cannot think and can't imagine

I fear if I do it will make me closer

While you remain out of reach

And probably with someone else...I know I could be her... if I was there.

I can't see you

I can't smell you

I can't touch you

And I can't feel you

But, somehow, I know you're there.

I long to hear your voice once more

In the past it filled me with exhilaration

And then left me in despair.

Fill my soul once more with your proper tone

And then jerk it away, as we say, "So long".

I want to know feelings

I never felt before

But will I ever experience your gentle touch again?

Or your warm breath against my neck,

As you solemnly whisper, "I love you, I need you."

But.............
I can't see you

I can't smell you

I can't touch you

And I can't taste you

But, somehow, I feel I could.

Why does my heart beat so rapidly

At one little thought of you?

Why do I need for you to touch me, hold me

Pleaures I could never know....

I want you to teach me the wonders

I've never known and take me to levels

Never seen before by my quivering soul.

I can't see you

I can't smell you

I can imagine

And I can't touch you.

Somehow I feel we're beyond that
We are two- united from the start

Meant to teach, to love, to comfort, and caress.

I could never let go of you

Even though there is nothing to grasp.

Even if it fades over time

It could never fade completely

And, one day,

when I do see you.....I'll feel it's you,

I'll know it's you

The love, pain, worries, and curiosity

Will run through me once again.

Then.....
I Will see you

I Will smell you

I Will feel you

I Will taste you

But, somehow... it won't be the same.

Elizabeth Higgins

Happy Mothers Day, Mom

I feel lucky because until i am breathing right now, my mother still alive. A person who always care and love me without reason, reply and limit. As usual here in Indonesia, we celebrate mothers day on December 22. Don't have much and expensive gift for them, but valuable care and love are most important for them. As a girl, but not yet woman, i know how precious women are. What make one nation full of respect is based on women it self. Happy mothers day, mom and for all mothers over the world, your exist never can't count.

On Mothers Day, pay your most humble tribute to Mother!
Mothers are everything for us when we are small...our lives revolve around her. For everything that we need we call mother. To protect us from all perceivable dangers we want her around us. To take us out we hold her arms. To kiss away our wounds we run to her. And for a warm hug and love we look for her. She is the focal point of our lives, the greatest human being in the world or should we say divinity on earth. On the special occasion of Mothers Day pay tribute to your mother - the greatest blessing of God on you.

On Mothers Day Thank your Mother
There is simply no way we can ever really thank mother for all she has done for us. She is the one who will be awake all night when we are sick. Praying to God to make us well and be ever ready to bear the pain that we may be experiencing. She is the one to wake up early in the morning to make the nicest tiff in and endure all our tantrums. Mothers are the ones who would forever complain that we are not eating enough or not eating right. They would cook all sorts of things so that we be strong and healthy. Mothers in fact, worry more for our examinations than we must. They would take pains to complete our school projects leaving all other works behind while we play around with friends or just while away time watching movies.

On Mothers Day Apologize to your Mother

Mothers are the one on whom we put all the blame for our failures. We would not hesitate once to point her single faux pas though she would not miss even a slightest opportunity to praise us. Isn't it tough to imagine how she must have borne our temper tantrums when we were teenagers. And how hard we must have made her life by behaving so rude and difficult. And yet she was so astonishingly cool. It is easy for the kids to be so demanding from parents, specially mothers as we take her affection and care so much for granted. Most often to the extent of selfishness. Mothers Day is the right time to apologize for all the troubles that we gave to our moms, without even realizing at most times how troublesome we must have been to her.

Celebrate Mothers Day with your Dear Mother
Mothers Day is the perfect day to celebrate the joys of having a mother. It is the time to make amends for not being able to spend quality time with her. So turn your wrongs right by making all efforts to give a perfect Mothers Day to your mother. Think about her likes and dislikes about gifts and idea on celebration and act accordingly. Strive to make Mothers Day absolutely hassle free for your mother and take the responsibilities on yourself for a day. Pamper her a little on this special day of hers just as she pampers you all the year round. Give her a warm hug and a big kiss as you wish her a Happy Mothers Day!

Fascinating

When Animals in Love

Twilight Ebook Series for Free Download

I have read this novel at first time on internet, "Wow ... it is such a really ... very ... hmmh ... nice", I just said that after ended my last page. Then ... Oh ... this story seems haunted me again and again not only the romance but also the sacrifice it was. How love can conquer evil or bad things i just called that 'sacrifice'. What made me Hilarius about Staphanie Meyer, the author, she was a mother from 3 kids with high level of imagination. I felt so ... so ... glad when i saw an article on yahoo about Twilight on the screen. Off course i didn't scream that time but I felt restless to wait Twilight will be aired, specially here in Jakarta - Indonesia. Tada .... so ... have i watched ? OFF COURSE I HAVE.

Silly thing i did after watched Twilight was, i just more believed that vampire existed, they could be like us - human- who have feeling. Alike i really believe that mermaid exists. Nice things will be more nice to share right, so here this the ebook you can download, just click on it :

MEYERStephenie-Twilight01-Twilight.pdf
MEYERStephenie-Twilight02-NewMoon.pdf
MEYERStephenie-Twilight03-Eclipse.pdf
MEYERStephenie-Twilight04-BreakingDa.pdf

Will It Happen ?

I read this article from discover channel website. I excited, off course i was, because not only i love bear much but also there was hope for me that bear can live longer in their endangared surrounding. Here this article that i read about.

I've totally underestimated polar bears. For a couple of years now I've been saying that polar bears are doomed; that no matter what we do today, the titanic momentum of the global warming freight train is already sufficient to melt the Arctic sea ice and end the polar bear way of life. But happily, these bruins may be far more adaptable then I expected, according to a release today from the American Museum of Natural History about new research published journal Polar Biology.

Here's the gist: Earlier spring thaws in Hudson Bay are a boon to nesting snow geese, which in turn are producing loads of eggs. Polar bears are on a culinary collision course with this earlier, land-based and increasing food supply -- which is ironically triggered in part by global warming. It's sure a wild and crazy planet! Here's more from the press release:
When bears switch to the tundra in some areas, they may enter the nesting grounds of snow geese. Goose eggs and developing embryos are a highly nutritious source of food to opportunistic foragers. Although geese populations were in decline in the early 1900s, the population rebounded and expanded. There are now too many geese for the Arctic to support in the summer, mainly because their over-wintering habitat has increased to cover the northern plains, where they eat waste corn and forage in rice fields.

The bottom line is that it's about, which is controlled by climate.

Current trends indicate that the arrival of polar bears will overlap the mean hatching period in 3.6 years, and egg consumption could become a routine, reliable option. At this point, a bear would need to consume the eggs of 43 nests to replace the energy gained from the average day of hunting seals. But within a decade, because timing changes would put bears in contact with even more nests with younger embryos (younger embryos are more nutritious), a bear would only need to consume the eggs of 34 nests to get the same amount of energy....

...(Robert) Rockwell and his graduate student, Linda Gormezano, calculated that the rate of change in ice breakup is, on average, 0.72 days earlier each year, and that hatching time is also moving forward by 0.16 days each year. Current trends indicate that the arrival of polar bears will overlap the mean hatching period in 3.6 years, and egg consumption could become a routine, reliable option. At this point, a bear would need to consume the eggs of 43 nests to replace the energy gained from the average day of hunting seals.

In fact, the bears are already at the eggs...

“Over 40 years, six sub adult male bears were seen among snow goose nests, and four of them were sighted after the year 2000,” says Rockwell, a research associate in Ornithology at the American Museum of Natural History and a Professor of Biology at City College at City University of New York. “I’ve seen a sub adult male eat eider duck eggs whole or press its nose against the shell, break it, and eat the contents. This is similar to a different research group’s observations of polar bears eating Barnacle Goose eggs on Svalbard, an island near Norway.”

Amazing

Gloomy rain and thick gray cloud above Jakarta before raining. I took these photos from office window on 6th floor, where i worked in. I just thought whirlwind came as issued as pople talked and was fussy around past few days.

Thick gray cloud was above istiqlal mosque. I realized as human we were nothing on eye's God, but God was everything for human.

Please Keep For Me

Her heart is pounding at once she sees surrounding to less her nerve. It should be a beautiful night for them, but their meeting seems too late to make. She feels her hands as cold as ice which is ready to melt. She comes here just for one intention, to meet someone and tell something what she has to tell even hard to say directly. She wears white backless gown, fine silver necklace tie around on her thin neck, nice thin bracelet around his wrist and beautiful white gold ring on her left sweet finger. She sees that ring at once and makes her heart more pounding.

Someone walks closely to her, she knows for sure who he is. He wears white long-hand shirt with deep blue denim. That smiles makes her heart pounding faster than before, “Oh God … “ she smiles but her heart seems cries. In few minutes, they just stare each other and don’t say anything. “Thank you for coming” he wipes the girl tears and smiles. “Ya” she answered shortly. In half an hour they still silent until the girl starts to talk first “Thank you … for being with me until today. I think … this meeting only in my dream but … once again God make us meet”. She sees his nods “Even right now, I am thinking … I am still dreaming, meet you, see you, your smile … eyes … thank you”.

“I will not long be here, next evening I will go home” the girl said “Ya, I know. You had told me. No matter how short the time is but as I know, meet you here as close as this night, is enough for me”. The girl smiles to hear what he said, yes he is right, no matter how short the time is all they know it is enough for them.

“I want you to know that you are special person for me, as long as you still here with me mean that long I will be there for you” his eyes seems talking more and she knows what his eyes mean “Even I had been engagement ?” her eyes seems stand to cry.

He takes her sweet finger to see her engagement ring “I have told you, no matter what will happen between us, for me … no one can replace you” he said in smile. “No, it should not be like that. You can’t” she shakes her head showing disagreement. “When I come into your heart, there is him before me, I have realized that. You choose him as one for you, don’t think you hurt me”.

“Seems like I have two life, one life is with him and one other is with you. Whatever is, I can’t leave him”. The boy smiles “He is a lucky because he has you who loves him much. I am sure he is a good person that’s why I don’t have to feel hurt because … you will be belong for someone that I trust. Believe me, don’t worry about me”.

They walked side by side with holding hands, it has been late but for them it doesn’t matter “I want to say something”, “What ?” asked the boy. The girl stares his eyes and holds his fingers tightly “I will be married in next two weeks”. Her answered seems crush his heart, he just know how the pain is felt “Next two weeks ?” hard to believe but when he sees her eyes he had known she is not kidding or teasing him. “I … I … hmmh … I just can say … I am glad to hear that. At last … everything has answered … everything … “ he nods down for few minutes while his hands still in her holding, slowly she hugs him “There is something that I want to tell since long”, “what ?” asked the boy. “And I am not afraid to say this”, “What ?” asked the boy “I love you … , but I can’t make you as mine” whispered the girl.

Two Weeks later

The incoming call ringing “Hi … “, the sound greeting. “Oh, hi …, why you called me this late. I just think it is your first night with him” he knows who is calling. “Ya, you are right. I just want to say one thing”. “What ?” asked the boy “thank you for coming to my wedding party. Among many guest I just want to see you come, because on your little finger there is still red cotton which tie to my little finger. Are you want to cut it or you want to keep this ?”.

He is silent in long, he is crying but he won't she hear it.“I had told you, no one can replace you. Your decision never hurt me even until I am talking to you right now, but … if we cut this red cotton mean I will lose you forever. Please keep this for me"

Ryza Febriasty

“I just think to find new job, better career and better salary”
I just say “It is nice. For me I feel grateful for what I had. My job, my workplace … even not sure, at least every morning when I wake up I know what I should do that is work. Because I know there are many people in this city still searching job”

“I hate to face my boss everyday, much talking and weird”
I just say “That boss is for, at least … later when you will be a boss someday, I hope you will not like him/her. Because you had known how the feeling on subordinate staff position”

“ Seems my salary not enough for me”
I just say “How big and high the salary is, I am sure it will not enough ever as if we don’t control ourselves”

“Nice dream right, as if leave in condo, latest car and rich husband ?”
I just say “Is better to live in village quite far from crowded, just fine car, and good husband”

“I want to buy that latest mobile phone”
I just say “Are you sure you want to spend more than 6 million to buy that thing ?”

“I think she/he will promote to sub company”
I just say “If this happen to her/him its means she/he must be lucky. Maybe next turn is me hehehe”

Loving in Nice Thought

When we meet one right person to be love,
When we are at the right time,
It is called a chance

When we meet an interesting person,
It is not a choice but a chance

Meet someone in live episode not a choice
It is called a chance also

If we decide for loving someone,
With all the weaknesses,
It is not a chance, but a choice …

When we decide to live with someone no matter what will be

It is a choice

Even we realize there are others who better than your partner
And we still love him / her
It is called choice

Loving, sympathy and interesting,
Come in every chance …
But true love is a choice,
For what we do

Talking about soul mate,
There is one quote from a movie ;

'Faith will take us still together, But depend how we can make it'

Soul mate is exist and real …

Might be one person is created for one person only

Make a choice for what you really want,
Do something to get you want,
Or …
Not do anything,

These all depend on us

Keep loving and make him / her as one
Is a choice to do

We live in this earth
Not for looking a perfect person to be love,
BUT to learn how for loving imperfect person in the perfect way

Maureen

Mba Maria came this morning after left office for 3 months for Maternity Leave, these are some photos from Maureen her first daughter. I can't say anything while i was seeing these photos at first except smiled .

Bright Day After Raining

I took this picture last Wednesday on November 5, that time was bright after heavy raining. My mom must be killed me if she knew i went outside from my room . I had chicken pox, ouw ... i didn't allow to go out from room about 9 DAYS, can imagine that ... 9 DAYS ... all i did just ate, slept, read, browsed, blogged and chatted .

I sneaked slowly from my room before my mom got home . I went to my garden home on terrace and front of my fence. Here these some pictures which i captured from my cell phone. I really enjoyed how bright shine of sun touched my skin then felt how cold the wind was. In this way i felt so ... ready to back to the office again .

How small flowers were these

No wonder many mosquitoes came into my house at night

One red flower among dead leaves

Heart banana trees

Ouw look ... me under the sun, there were still mark of poxes over my face

My mom said it was shoes flower

Bud of shoes flower

How fresh the colour was

It will grow for a week later

Loving You Completely

The heavy rain run over the city all night, many people prefer to stay at home today. The warmth in house and gather with family are most choice for almost half resident in this city. But it just an option for Anya, a 25 years old woman, she is young, energetic and brilliant. “Mom, what we will eat for dinner ?” a little with girl with two tails side of her head move to left and right when she runs “Beef tomato, cheese and pasta” Kara answered what her daughter asked and smiled to her. “Great, I like pasta. And … mom … is dad will come to eat with us ?” Kara smiled seems like she want to show her teeth to Anya. Once again Anya smiles to Kara. “Is better we don’t wait until daddy comes home. I am afraid he will come late again”, Anya holds Kara’s hands to guide her into dining table. It doesn’t alike dining table but only small table for three person where used to eat and iron. They live in small rent house for almost five years, there are only two rooms, one bathroom, one living room, and one kitchen. “Is raining outside, where is Dad ?” her little eyes saw through the window “He will be fine. Don’t worry, he will come bit late because the crowded honey”.

Someone knocks the door “It must be daddy … “Kara yelled. She runs into the door “Daddy …”. Anya realizes her husband already came. Kara kisses her husband and smiles “Have you taken you dinner young lady ?” Kara Nod “What we have for dinner ?” once again Kara take her action “Mom makes pasta for us”, “Oh it is your favorite one, you have finished your dinner” Kara runs into the table to continue her dinner. “How are you ?” Brad asked her wife in smiling face “I am good, and how are you, how class today ?” Anya answered with staring eyes into her husband “Everything is fine” Brad is a elementary teacher, in evening he teaches in one course place as his side job. “Today Kara talked about bicycle again. I feel sorry we can’t buy her first bicycle in her 5th birthday”, “Don’t worry, where is your smile. I am sure we can buy bicycle for her. There is much time to collect some money. Don’t worry okay”.

Today is Kara Birthday. She feels so happy because her parents buy her a bicycle that she adores since long. She doesn’t need to wait her turn to ride bicycle that she usually borrows from her friend. She feel so happy, because she can ride bicycle every morning together with her friends.

Anya sees through the window, the full moon bright the night with its shine “Still don’t sleep ?”, Anya moved her head once “I think about us, me, you and Kara”. “What make you think in this late ?” Brad asked her wife “I feel sorry to Kara, you know what … every time I see her, I just see her eyes. Why she has to live in this condition, why she has to feel all of this” her tears fall dawn. “Don’t feel like that, even we live in small rent house but don’t you see we live in happy ?”. “But, we don’t have enough money for her” Brad hugs her wife, he understands what her wife worry. “I just think, when we were married in young age, five years ago, we really don’t think we will live in condition like this. Specially you, I know it must hard for you to live like this. You used live in enough condition but not like this”. “Anya listen to me, I never feel sorry that I have to live like this, because I through all of this with you. I never sorry to marry in young age, specially to marry with you”. Anya looks to eyes Brad “As if you not marry with me, but with her … the one that you parents suggest , you wont be like this”, “I will marry with someone that I love, and that is you. No matter how hard we are right now, all I know what decision it just because of you. Please don’t feel sorry like this, even to Kara and with me. You are good mother for her, good wife from me, it is enough for me”.

One day, Anya receives a call from one publisher. He said to Anya that her story will consider publishing. Anya surprises, she makes story about kid story for elementary ages. Her inspiration is Kara, her daughter. One month after her book publishing, the people give positive reaction. That’s why the publisher makes a contract with her to make one story again. The story about a family of rabbit, there is Father Rabbit, Mother Rabbit and Little Rabbit. How they cope their daily in needy condition. How Mother Rabbit make a cake birthday for Little Rabbit when her daughter wants an expensive cake alike her friends who celebrate their Birthday with ice cream cake, clowns and expensive gifts. The story tell about even they don’t have enough money but they can live happily.

After the second book, the people give more positive reaction. The book already sold out only for a week. The reader can get and capture the morale from this story. “I love this book much, specially when the Little Rabbit collect her money to buy a bicycle” said one reader to Anya “Yes, that is sweet right ?”, “I cried when I read the part when Mother Rabbit has to make cup cakes to sell in next morning. Mother Rabbit does that because she wants have extra money to make Little Rabbit’s dream come true. The dream is a bicycle” other reader told to Anya. “Yes, what Mother Rabbit does, is only for her daughter” Anya smiled to the reader who most of them on elementary ages. “I cried when I read the part when Father Rabbit has to take side job just for earn more money to make Little Rabbit and Mother Rabbit live in enough” one reader smiled and hug Anya. “Yes, that is touching right. I hope Family Rabbit teach you how to move, face, cope and patient in every condition. No matter how hard we are, but only thing you should remember … do not ever give up”.

Brad, Anya and Kara move to a better house. They don’t have to live in rented house again, because Brad and Anya just buy small house. One month after that, Brad has offered to work in a bank. And from that, all start to change.

“What is that ?” Anya surprised “It is for you” Brad smiled. “Come on dad, I want to see how mom wears that” Kara smiled. She already became a young lady, her ages 10 this year. “Oh my god, it is too beautiful” Brad wore her a diamond necklace “Happy birthday Anya, still become my sun for me and Kara”. “It is great Mom, you look so beautiful, shine a like sun … because you are sun for us. Happy birthday …”. Kara hugs her mother then Brad kisses her wife “Thank you, for all of this. Oh … I feel older, I am 30 this year” Anya laughed, “But you are still beautiful” Brad hug her tightly.

They had been married for 25 years, in they live they keep their marriage with caring, loving, dignity, respect and patient. Those all make them still move on until these ages. Their wish to see Kara live better already came true. “I just can’t let her go from me” Anya hold Brad’s hands. “For me, she is still my young lady. I should wake up before her to make her breakfast. Prepare her snack for she brings along her school ages. Wait patiently if she will home late after work. Brad … hard for me to let her go” Anya cried. “I understand, because I feel the same way you are feeling right now. She is still my little princess for me. When she waited for me dinner, showed me her teeth whenever I came home every night, how she run with her two tailed hair. We just don’t realize how time pass so fast” Brad tried to Anya’s heart stronger. “Today, is her wedding. She as beautiful as the way you were in that clothes 25 years ago” Brad smiled to Anya “Thank you to still with me until this day” Anya replied to smile “No, I wont with you until this day. But, I want to live you forever” Brad smiled and kissed her wife.

The full moon bright this night. Its shine looks more bright than usual. Brad knows how Anya really like the full moon. “You don’t sleep because you wont miss this night right ?” Brad asked her wife who sleep beside her. “Yes, because tonight is full moon” Anya answered “Do you remember there is one night I cried that night in full moon, because I worried about Kara’s life and specially felt sorry to you” Anya caressed Brad’s face. “ I remembered. I said that night you don’t have to worry. What I said that time because I know time will change everything. And I am right, time has changed everything. Right now there is any worry that you should keep Anya, all you have to do … just enjoy your time, our old time together” brad kissed Anya’s eyes.

“I feel so happy I still have much time to see our grandchild, is it a bless right ?” Anya asked “Is not only bless for us, but also gift from God” Brad answered. “Yes, you are right. Would you stay with me until the moon end” Anya asked “Yes, I will stay with you along this night until the night end. Tomorrow, day by day, I will stay with you” Brad answered and he saw Anya smiled “Why you are crying, am I say something wrong ?” Brad wipe off her tears “I love you” Anya smiled “I love you too” Brad smiled “And you don’t have to cry to say that”. “I am crying because I am happy God allow us still together”.

“Brad, why you always said that I am you sun, while I really live moon much ?” Anya asked “Oh it is a secret” Brad teased Anya “Oh … come on, just say to me for once”, “Hmmh okay … “ Brad stared to Anya’s eyes “Just for once and keep that in your mind” he saw Anya nod. “Listen, the reason why i called you my sun, because … you have bright love which always shines for me everyday. You are alike energy for me to move on. The moon can’t bright alike tonight if the sun never exist. The moon has its bright from the sun. That’s why you are the sun for me”.

Anya keeps silent for few minutes “That is beautiful reason that I ever heard. Brad …”, Anya said “ What ?”, “Would you hug me until I sleep tonight?” Anya asked “Oh sure … “ Brad moved close to Anya and hug her. “I love you…love you completely” Anya whispered in Brad ears.

In morning

“Anya, wake up. We will go to Kara’s house, today is our grandchild birthday”. Brad let off his hug from Anya. “Anya … “ Brad kissed her forehead. “Wake up my sun, Anya … “. Anya’s eyes still close. Her face looks so calm but her lips smile. She sleeps in peace, and always sleeps in peace.

“Oh Anya … “ Brad hug her wife more tightly.

“I have told you that I will stay with you along this night until the night end … Tomorrow, day by day, I will stay with you … but why you let me to live alone ?” Brad cried he just realize Anya already left him. Anya has passed away that night, after the full moon end along with Brad’s hug.

“I had told you the reason why I called you the sun. Even you are gone, you are still my sun. ”

“I love you … love you completely” Brad whispered to Anya's ears. He just sure Anya can hear that. “Good bye my sun”

Ryza Febriasty

When Beauty Can’t See by Eyes

“Are you coming this night ?” Oscar asked him for twice. “Like I said, I still don’t know” Gerry answered, “Oh Man, listen. If I were you, I would answer like u did” Oscar laughed. “Stop it Oscar, it doesn’t fun at all. When you grow up ?” Thomas moved his head once. “You asked me when I grow up. Oh come on Thomas, don’t you see I have already grown up. Look … I am the tallest right ?” He laughed again. “Oh, silly answer” Gerry laughed also. “Anyway … if my girl was alike yours, I think I would re-think to ask her tonight” Oscar added. “Why, just because her style an old fashion ? ” Thomas asked them both – Oscar and Gerry. Oscar “Sure … “ He nod and winked his left eye. “Stop talking fool about my girl. Even she is an old fashioned don’t you know she is nice. I had tried to change her, at least to put off her glasses and asked her to wear transparent soft lens. But, you see guys … she stand with her style. I give up then” Gerry smiled. “Listen, if you know how ‘old’ she is, why you still ask her become your girl. Oh come on Gerry, seems you are more silly than Oscar” Thomas moved her head. “I just don’t know. At first I just play around but, more I know her more hard for me to end” Gerry showed pity expression but it just make Oscar laughed too laud.

The Night …

It is special night for the 9 grade, Prom Night. Students come in couple to celebrate last night in school as senior high school students. They are dancing, have fun and leave good memories to remind them before they enter collage step.

Oscar come with his cute girl friend, Thomas come with his sweet girl friend and Gerry … of course he comes with her ‘unique’ girl friend. Everyone who see Nina must agree that she is ‘unique’. She has long hair but always tie up, her pony, her glasses hmmh, is okay for all of that. But, her dress … seems she just has 2 style dress ; long dress up to her knee and shirt with ripple skirt up to her knee. When other girls trend to wear jeans, she still stand with that style. When other girls trend to wear denim, she still stand on.

“I should not come tonight” Nina stared Gerry with sorry expression. “Why you said like that, just look at you this night. You are different on backless gown. Nina you are looking great, you are beautiful” Gerry said sincere. Ya, Nina look very different tonight. Her white backless gown makes her a princess along with her soft skin. “Just hold my hands, and no one can talk even say bad thing with you”. Nina smiles, she just feel an ugly swan pet who is keep by a prince. “Don’t you know Gerry, many girls said that I am lucky because I had boyfriend like you”. “What …, they said so ?. And you know what, many boys said that I am a lucky also. Because I can get you, just because you are rich girl but lonely and desperate”. “What … they said so ?” Nina shocked “Oh that’s really bad”. “If we just listen and listen what people said about us, we never move on. Come on, show with them that you are too precious “ Gerry hold Nina’s hands.

What Nina sees is right, she has shown to other students that she is too precious to neglect. What they see who old fashioned just become a princess. “Gerry, is that Nina ? Where you put her big glasses ?” Oscar surprised “She left that” Gerry smiled. “As I told you Oscar, don’t be silly” Thomas laughed.

Nina gathers with Oscar and Thomas. “Nina still Nina, no one can change her just in one night. She can do that because she has Gerry with her. Don’t you know Gerry just pity to her, that’s why he can’t end their relationship”. There are one girl and two boys behind Nina, they don’t know what they said is recorded on Nina’s ears. “Ya, I think so. Nina still Nina. I think Gerry like her just because she is rich. Who doesn’t want ride Bentley for daily car, does it?” One boy laugh. “I think is not like that, Gerry is not like that. But might be Nina trick Gerry with her money to get Gerry as her mine” The other boy laughed.

Nina’s heart is pounding and beating. It just three person there must be many students think like that. She leaves Oscar and Thomas, slowly she leaves the party and just sit in her car until Gerry comes. “Why you are here ? I am looking for you ?” Gerry looked Nina and at once he saw Nina cried. “I want to go home” Nina said, “Okay, I will take you home”. Along the road, Nina still silent until she says this “Am I a ugly person Gerry ?”. “What kind of question is that ?”, “Just say, yes or no”. “Off course no” Gerry said. “You lie” Nina replied. “How come I lie ?. You are not ugly”. “You lie” Nina replied “I am not Nina, so … what answer you want to hear ?” Gerry asked, “you lie, you said that because you pity on me. What you look for me, my money” Nina cried.

“Ugly, is that words you want to hear ?. But I never look you from your money, if you think like that. Just tell me what happen in that party when I am not with you, just tell me what ?” Gerry’s voice louder. “Nothing, but don’t ever speak louder at me like that” Nina wipe her tears. “Why you want me”. “I don’t know” Gerry answered and continued “I just like you just because you are different, you are simple not alike other girl student”. Nina moves her head, they silent in few minutes “I can’t move on Gerry. Just forget about us “. Gerry stops the car and looks to Nina, maybe she is kidding or some kind like that “Just forget about us. Kidding me right ?”. “I am not” Nina replied. “I am not, I just realize what we had so far is wrong”. “What is wrong, because we date ?”. Gerry sees Nina nods. “ Everything is wrong, Just forget about us. You are too good for me, I am not”

From that day Gerry never see Nina again. What he knows, Nina take study abroad. But Nina never send any for him even say good bye. It had past almost 5 years. Nina not too beautiful but she has warm heart, it is the one what she always remember.

That day, he moved to this city, new school and new home for him and his father. He didn’t know any in that school. Until one girl came and greeted him, she was Nina. She was his first friend. Every student looked her in weird and pity, but Gerry just see her as usual girl. She was a sweet girl when she smiled, behind her glasses he can see clear eyes alike clear sky. She was too simple, usual and old fashioned but in those ways Gerry started to like her. When he came to her house he just know that she is from rich family, but she never showed off about her richness. She still simple and usual. When girls in school picked by car, she preferred to ride a bicycle with him even Gerry knew that her father already prepared personal driver and car for her only. When girls in school wore trendy clothes, she just wear simple shirt and ripple skirt. When girls in school fussy about make up, she just let her face without make up. When girls in school started to wear coloring contact lens, she just let her glasses put on.

Gerry got bachelor scholarship, it made him and her father moved to other city. Her father was a writer. And right now, after 5 years, he just back to this city. In her heart he just want to come to Nina’s house. But what he sees, Nina’s family already moved also. Gerry want to fool himself why he still look Nina even remember her. After Nina, he has relationship to one girl but just ended a year ago.

He walks slowly along the center of the city. He sees this city not different a lot. He smiles, even one small bakery store still open. That place is full of memories. The store’s name is The Raisin, because almost all of the bakery topping must be raisin, Nina always come just to buy Rum Raisin Bakery. Gerry walks toward that store and enters. He smiles and wonders, how come the smell still same alike 5 years ago. In a corner he sees, a young couple talking and smiling. What he sees, just remember how him and Nina were 5 years ago.

“Honey, look finally Nina Krauss already opened in this city” the girl smiled, “Ya, the soft opening will held tomorrow. We will go there tomorrow” the boy hug her girl. Gerry turns his body “I am sorry, I am new here. Nina Krauss, what was that?”. The girl smiles “You don’t know about her. You should tell him honey” the girl asked her boy to explain to Gerry. “Nina Krauss is famous designer for teen alike us. She designed clothes for girl and boy also. And you know what, all her collection is about retro and old fashioned collection. Is cooool …, really. I know you are not teen anymore but many of customer are in same age as yours”. The boy seems like marketing and make Gerry feel pleased “Really…?”. “Ya, not only clothes, but bags and shoes also. Like this … “ the boy pointed his girl shoes. Gerry looks and shocks, what he sees is really make his heart beat faster. Wages shoes, there is only one person want to wear that style, it is Nina.

“Nice shoes. Really” his remind about Nina coming back again. “If you want to see, just come tomorrow. There will be soft opening tomorrow”

“No …, I don’t want wait until tomorrow, I want to meet Nina now”. Gerry leaves the bakery store and comes to the Nina Krauss store that place front of the bakery. His heart is pounding, seems like he wants to enter the store and searches Nina then finds her.

He looks from the outside, there is one girl with long hair over her back. White shirt and flowery ripple skirt. Just one girl in his mind in style like that, it is Nina. She stands between her crew, but Gerry still recognize is her. He just stand outside with smile, wait Nina here. After an hour, some of her crew go outside from the store, few more minute, Nina walks out from the store. Once she sees her first branch store from the outside, “It is too great Nina, really” Gerry shouted. Nina moves her head to see who talk with her in this late “And you are great” Gerry said while his steps are closed to her. “Pardon …, ? with whom I talk “.

“Gerry …, still remember me ?”, Nina closed her face with her hands “What are you doing there ?”, Gerry can see Nina smiled “I just right here, waiting you “. Nina walk closely to Gerry “Oh my God, I never wondered I can see you again”. “So do I” Gerry hug Nina tightly “Where have you been so far, where are you going so far, why you didn’t tell me that you study abroad, why you left me Nina, why?”

“I take fashion design. I just want take that major because I hate the way people look at me that time. I hate the way people talked about my look. So here I am now … “ Nina wipe off her tears of happiness. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you, I just think I am too ugly for you. I am not pretty enough for you, I am not … “. “Stop it Nina … “ Gerry smiled. “Who say you are not good enough for me, please tell me, what happen that night ?”. “That night … oh … it was silly to tell “ Nina walked away “What silly you mean, tell me … what happen ?”

Nina moved her body “In that prom night I heard many students talked about me, they said you like me cuz my money, and … I just make you like me cuz … my money … then … you wanted end our relation but hard for you to tell cuz you feel pity on me and … “

Gerry hug Nina again, “Why you so silly and stupid to believe all what they said” Nina laughed, “Ya, you are right. I am too silly and stupid. But … I am sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. That time I just think what they said was right. There must be one girl who is better than me. But not me. Not alike me”

“I really don’t see you from that. Whoever you are, you are human or ET that time, all I know I just like you” Gerry stared to Nina, “I am sorry … really. I just know I am wrong but I am too prestige, too shy to tell that I am wrong. I am sorry”

“I had forgiven you since that night. But please, don’t go anywhere again without my notice. I f you do again, seems you will kill me” Nina laughed when she heard Gerry said so. “Oh Gerry, promise … I wont do that. I wont do same mistake again” Gerry still stared to Nina, “All I do know, I want to show to the world that my style is precious and I want to make world notice that I am too precious to neglect. I copy that words for you” Nina laughed again.

“Please, don’t go again, because I am too miss you. Don’t you know that I like you, and since you gone, don’t you know that you haunted me. I love you. Please believe me”. Nina smiled, “Ya, I know, and I love you too. Even I am not too beautiful, but I know I am precious for you because you had seen me in completely. No matter I look that time, no matter I am right now, but we are here … “.

“Nina, beauty not always see by eyes, but your beauty is seen by my heart” they hug tightly. “by the way, you look more beautiful in your soft lens and let your hair without tie anymore” Gerry teased her, “Gerry … you must kidding me” Nina laughed.