I saw his mail in junk email and frozen. I dont know why that email move to junk folder maybe because his email address not list on my inbox folder. He still alive. 3 for almost 4 years went away and come as like as a ghost. I dont have much to say to him but I think he know what I feel. Does he want to tell me some things ? Date marriage or maybe his baby is born or his wife pregnant or maybe something else. I lost my words. Tears are dropping, I just lost my words.