12.47 am and i just finished making chocolate stick mold for order. I have to sleep earlier tonight. Tomorrow i will do MRI. My doctor, dr Noorwati Sutandyo suggested me to do MRI because the blood test result showed the white blood cell - leukocyte amount three times bigger than the red blood cell - erythrocyte. It will effect to my D-dimer problems. Some cases mean i may have risk of very early stage of blood cancer. It already scheduled from last week. The test resulted and more what she said about the risk shocked me. I am not denial, i accept it. I have to do prevention before the cell more grow and spread faster. My self and the body itself will do as much effort as we able.
I am trying so hard not to cry, trying that hard not to afraid for tomorrow. It will just take 30 minutes as like USG and CT Scan but i feel so frigged out.
The same day, if not mistaken and not any delay or cancellation, my dream will go back to UK. Will he back to the same city and same place ? only he knows. Ishaallah he will have the safe flight. For me wherever you are, you already be my dream - the sun, the moon and the star.
Khansa, bunda loves you. Bunda owes you many big things. You safe me, always. In the morning later lets we sing Barney-the favorite song ever : I love you, you love me, we are happy family, with big hugs and kisses from me to you, wont you love me too. Give me your best smile for through tomorrow.
