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Monday, December 29, 2008

Since Beginning, Right Now and Later This Love Will be Remain and Still Same

“No, I won’t through this with you anymore. Just go !”
“What are you talking about ? are you sick or something ?”
“I am fine, I just want you to let me go”
“What is wrong ?”

“Nothing wrong”
“So … what made u said so ?”
“Because … ‘cause …. You are not good for me”
“Not good for you ? Oh … what mean of all this”
“No mean. Just let me go. I have to go”
“Where do you want to go ? Let me come with you”
“Ohh … stop it. It is enough, let me go … just … let … me … go …, you are not good enough for me”
“If you want so, I will go”
“Ya, I want so …, I am going now … “
Her shadow already went along with dark night. He felt his heart aching but once beat faster. He just know, it will happen … but please not now …, why should happen when he feels love at first time. He had felt in love with young widow. That is a problem, he had felt in love with a widow that called forbidden love.

One year passed

“Come on Jake, don’t make me wait too long “ his friend, Andri, suddenly come beside him “Yes sure, so … where would be going tonight ?” asked Jake. “How about … uhm … Bugs Café” Jake nods to show agreement. “And please, don’t ask Alice to come in”, “Why Jake ? it is okay to take Alice with us. Please … I need your help tonight. You know … where Alice goes there will be Jemima also. I like Jemima, just help me bit tonight Jake, I like Jemima … make this easy” Jake rounds his eyes once “Oh you are …, you are using me just because you want Jemima. Okay … this time … I help you. You really count me much about this”. Andri face looks more round than before “That friend is for … okay … let’s go. They are waiting us”.

Minute by minute pass by alike hour turn hour. “So … have your mom told you that I will stay here ?” Alice smile sweetly to Jake “Stay here ? what you mean ?” asked Jake. “Jake, Alice told me that she would work here”, Jake looks to Andri to make sure that Andri won’t tease him. After looked Andri’s face, he was sure that Andri serious “Work here ? uhm … what make this … “ Jemima interrupts Jake “Alice will live in my apartment. She had considered to work here”. “Oh … that is nice” Andri smiles to Jemima, too sweet. “Oh … like that. So have plan ?” Jake feels he loose his words “Not much, I just got job at magazine as staff editor” answered Alice. Jake saw how enthusiast Andri heard that, but wasn’ too important for him. Since beginning his mom asked him to dating with Alice. Alice is an independent girl, smart, sweet and nothing less value with her. He had known Alice since in college, she is good so far. He convinced his mom about their relation that they were good friend not more than that, but everything was useless.

“Mom, why you don’t tell me that Alice will move here ?” Asked Jake to his mother on phone, “I just want to make surprise for my only one son” replied his mother. Only one son, seem heard that he has been lonely so long. After his father died, his mother looked dominated his life totally. “Ouw, it is worked then”. “Come on Jake, lovely … she is nice more than nice, she is an excellent girl for me. I hope in same way with you also. What is wrong with her Jake ?”. “Nothing Mom, she is … just … perfect” oh … perfect, honestly it is not one word which he consider to say. “See, she is perfect right. So I just hope, her plan to move here, will make you both more close. Jake … look … I want the best for you. Since you were born I have given you best and for the last I want you live in best also”. The best … she said the best, oh seems her said just make his stomach turned upside down. “I know … but give me … another option”.
“Option ? what you mean with another option Jake ?” asked her mother with low voice. “Mom, you had tutored me since long, just look at me know. I am 30 this year, at least just give me space to find my own option. Especially with that I love” answered Jake. He realized, it was a first time for him to say so. “I am not mean like that. You want you have another option to find. Like you had before, when you date with that woman, that widow … come on Jake. Look you, look at me as your mother, look your dad, look our family. Is she good enough for you, for me and for you dad ?. You have bright future Jake, and I won’t that widow to be my daughter in law” “Mom … that widow has a name, Ava. And she is enough for me, everything is enough for me if I have her with me” “Stop it Jake, you start to hurt your mother. Forget her, and please consider Alice. Because I want her as your wife” suddenly the phone put off.

6 Months Later

“Good evening Mr. Jake”
“Good evening, so what you have for me ?”
“As much as you want. So … she has florist store beside on pacific ocean building. Her daughter name is Mara who is in elementary grade three this year. She lives in small house town which is name the village number 6. Is the information enough ?”
“Too much, okay, my secretary will transfer the payment. Thank you for your good job”
“You are welcome”

Watch has showed 7 pm, he let his car engine shut down. From this far, he can see that florist store. Not too big and luxury just simple but elegant. Then … after an hour waited in parking lot, finally he can see what he really want to see since long. Ava. He sees Ava, get out from the florist store. She still same with long deep burgundy hair, her walks, her size, especially her eyes who always pure and bright …. everything still same. With all his brave, he get out from his car then walks toward Ava.

“Ava” Ava turns her body then suddenly stiff in a minute. She turns her body back and walks faster
“Please Ava … wait “, she can feel Jake already grabbed her right hand
“Oh my God, what are you doing ? I had said to you clearly that time, I want you go away from me”
“I am not go. But you, the one who go. I know you have moved, but I never known you have been moving and living here. In this city the same city where I worked in”
“So, do you think it is a fate … we meet here ?”
“You can say so” “Jake…, what you expect from me huh ?”
“I am not expect too much” “It is good, because you can’t expect that much, even bit. Look Jake, I am a widow with one daughter who has in elementary grade three. I am not rich, not famous even not pretty. So what make you hard to let me go, what is hard for you to do that?”
“Because I am too fool to still love you” She feels her body is stiff and freeze “Jake, what for you still keep that love, it is impossible for me, for you, even for your mother”
“It is not impossible for me, for you even for my mother. I love you Ava and still like that, since beginning, right now and later” Jake walks more close to Ava, in this close he can see Ava really still same
“I miss you, really, that much, I can’t let you go. Is it wrong to fall in love with a widow ?” “Nothing wrong to fall in love with a widow but it will be most tragic for your mother. Jake please, you are too important for your mother, don’t hurt her feeling just because of me. Just … forget me. I know Alice is better for you”
Ava start to walk hinder Jake, she presses her alarm button to open her car key lock,
“Alice … wait, what have you known about Alice ? Oh … what my mother has told you ?” “Nothing” answered Ava short
“What is nothing” Jake holds the car door,
“What … you hide for me?”
“Oh Jake I don’t hide any. Please Jake, I want to live in peace far away from kind of this matter” “What is nothing ?” once again Jake holds the car door.

In few minutes, they are in silent “Your mother asked me to go away from your life, she said to me, as a mother we know we want the best for our son and daughter. She said that you will be marry with Alice, even I never know what Alice is like. But I am sure, she is must be a good one for you. So Jake, everything is over. If I have to choose, I prefer to hurt you than hurt your mother. Come on Jack you know, and I know, your mother won’t me” “
She said so. That’s why that night you ruin everything”
“Jake, let me and my daughter live in peace”

3 months later

“I can’t do this any longer Mrs. Anne”
Alice sits beside Jake mother and holds her right hand
“I like Jake that much, but Jake not feels like that”
“Alice, don’t say that. It usually happen with couple who will be marry”
“No, it is different. Jake doesn’t love me. I can’t stand longer with that” “Jake will love you by time”
“I don’t know. Jake is a good person, why you don’t try to understand him ?”
“Oh, what are you talking about ?”
“You never give him option to choose, Mrs. Anne. You make Jake no choice to choose. When I asked him, why you choose this major he just said ‘cause my mom want this, then, why you build this company he just said ‘cause my mom want this, why you do this to me, he just said ‘cause my mom want to do so, until I asked why you want marry me you know what he said, he said because his mom said you are best for me. Mrs. Anne, you know how hurt I am heard that, even the way he has value based on your own value”
They silent in few minutes, “I am sorry to say this, but I can’t marry with Jake”

Ava sit in her terrace home, at once she nods down to see her daughter on her lap. She caresses Mara’s hair slowly, sings her favorite lullaby. “Mom, I miss dad” Mara holds her waist tightly “Yes, I miss him also. He is a pilot Mara, he must be on sky every time to watching us. Don’t worry. Yes, but I never seen him, how does he like ?”. Ava holds her breath seems cut off on her throat. “He is a god man, he is a good pilot. He always caresses you when you here, in my stomach. He loves you much Mara”, “Wow cool … then is he handsome or cute” Mara laughed. “Yes, he is. Have you seen his picture?”, Mara nod “He is too great. You know mom, even dad had placed on sky but I want to feel how does it like to have a real father ?”

“The like is still same the way you have me as your mother Mara”, “Oh … is it like that ?. But I feel it won’t be same mom. Look Vara, Catherine, Nuri and Gaily, their fathers always drop them every morning and train them how to swim”, one by one Mara tell her friends at school and it makes her heart aching. As if and as if … Mara’s wishes just become real when Jake still beside us. “I can do that also, I also drop you at school, teach you how to swim and … “ Mara interrupts “Mom … still won’t be same. But it is fine. I don’t need any father anymore, I have you is enough for me”

The store not too busy this day, every order already sent. So Ava can be relaxed bit, she sits and starts to make list what should buy this month. The most buy this week is white lily, she continues to write. “Nice flowers” hearing someone comes into her store, she stop writing and stand up. “What can I do for you Madam ?”, “Uhm … looking simple and nice flower for a gift”, “Uhm … okay, how about this, white iris flower”. Ava takes one iris flower and shows to that woman “It is nice Ava” Ava surprised. How that woman knows her name. Slowly that woman put off her hat and smiles at her. “Mrs. Anne…?” “Ava … Iris flower is right choice”. Ava feels her heart bit faster and worry why she can be here. “I will make this easy Ava. My intention to come here, to ask you and your daughter Mara to come to our house” “I am not in game anymore Mrs. Anne” “No … no … I am not mean like that. I can say … please come to my dinner invitation, and will be nice to ask Mara with you” “Even you know my name daughter, what mean all about Mrs. Anne. I think the last talk with you is enough for me. I won’t disturb your life, I mean you and Jake” “Please Ava, just say … I have realized I make mistake that times. Any chance for me to fix that ?” “What do you mean ?” “Ava, Jake, my son, loves you much. I can’t do any to erase you from his heart, you mean a lot for Jake. Ava … let we fix together, would you ?” “What for, Alice … ? “ Mrs. Anne interrupt Ava “We won’t be marry Ava. Jake just need you, he just want you. And as his mother, it is my job to fulfill that. Here this my address in this city, I will wait you at 8 pm. It is surprise for Jake, make sure you will come tonight. Really Ava … I am sincere do this. I will let my son has his own option. I am sure, you won’t disappointed me and Jake. See you Ava, and thank you for this white iris, I will take this” Mrs. Anne leaves her name card on table.

The watch signs 7.45 pm

“Mom, where will be go ?”
“To my friend’s house”
This house unfamiliar with me mom, whose belong this house ?”
“Mrs. Anne and Jake”
Mrs. Anne and Jake ? I never heard that name before”
“You will see them when we come in. So .. are you ready Mara?” Ava sees Mara nods once, showing her ready. Mara holds Ava fingers, wonder what will happen in there.
"So, you are coming Ava, thank you” Mrs. Anne opens the front door and hugs Ava carefully, “Thank you Ava. To forgive me and give Jake another chance” Slowly she hears Mrs. Anne cries in low voice,
“Please come in. oh … look … this beautiful one, you must be Mara” Mrs. Anne look to Mara and smiles at her “Yes, I am Mara. And you madam ?”,
“So sweet Mara, just call me granny Anne”. Mara makes narrow eyes “Granny Anne, but you not look granny yet”
“Mara … your behave please” Ava whispered to her ears. But look, what Mara said just make Mrs. Anne laughed a lot. Suddenly she holds Mara and Ava hands together, and they start to come in. They enter into middle of the house, “I will take Mara with me, don’t worry. You see Jake right there, he is not notice you here. He is become man year by year, go see him Ava”.

She just wonder what had been happened. Why she came to this house, the invitation, taken Mara with her and so on. Why she want to do this. Why … she just believe that. From this far, she can see how Jake look alike. As usual he always calm, one person who still in heart and always she miss every night. Day and night she just want to think logic and realistic that their forbidden love was just ended, but look now. There is a chance for them to make their dream real.

“Jake” Jake takes his head up slowly and turns his body
“Ava ?” slowly Ava walks close to Jake
“Don’t ask any why I am here, ‘cause I have no answer” she smiles to Jake “
Your mother invites me and my daughter, Mara, to have dinner with you and your mother”
“It is … “ Ava interrupts Jake,
“Jake, would you hug me ? I am too miss you much … I just feel stiff right now” Jake step his foot one, she sees Ava really close at him, as close as that time, he kisses Ava right eye once,
“I miss you that much also. I won’t see your tears, God already listened all my pray day and night”
“What is your pray ?” “
I want you back as mine, you are my first love and will be my last one”
“You are not my first but I want you for my last” Ava can see that smiles, happiness, from Jake face. Jake hugs her slowly, “There is one that you should know Ava” “
What is that ?”
“Since beginning, right now and later this love will be remain and still same” “And there is one that you should know Jake”
“What ?”
“When I have found you, everything is enough for me”

Ryza Febriasty

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