Being Together is Better than Alone

We both have a tie that is not visible by eyes, but visible through feeling. Caring each other, that makes us feel a part. But I am aware, there is one thing that makes us like this, orphaned. We both children orphaned and living in a simple house with other five children orphaned. We all amount to 7 children, I myself called Zafrina, the sweet long black hair named Senna, the nerd book named Kachiri, and the rest, a group of boys ; the critical curly blond named Afton, the clear-eyed clever named Aro, the dreamer named Corin, and last ... special for me ... the aloner named Garret.

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We are special children, many times Mother Jasmine says it with sincere to us. Special because although without parents, but we are kind, soft hearted, good behave, talented and have bright future which can see from our eyes. We are only a group of kid age 7 to 10 years. I was 7 years old the youngest and the oldest is Aro. We sleep in one big room with many windows which always close in the evening and always open wide when morning comes.

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Nothing special in this house, but Mother Jasmine always makes it special. Mother Jasmine always get up earlier than us, wake us up, prepares breakfast, and delivers us with her car to same school. Mother Jasmine is a 45 years old Indonesia-Britain descent woman . She cares us since baby, living alone without a father and a husband. Her father died in a plane accident and her husband died because of diabetes, whereas her mother still live in Britain. Our presence make Mother Jasmine survive. We are not short of living, I think Mother Jasmine have much money to support us. However, she always teaches us how to respect money. After school, we get rest, do school homework then clean the house. Because I am the youngest, my job is only wipe the dust over the room while Senna and Corin sweep the house, Kachiri and Afton wipe the floor, Aro and Garret sweep garden. For washing we have Mother Abun, she has been in this house since we were baby and Mother Jasmine's job is cooking.

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Today I see Mother Jasmine's cheek getting red, she holds a sheet of paper on her lap "Letter from Mother Makenna ?" asked me, she nods, and caress my hair "Is she fine there?" I sit beside her and she nods. "I am sure Mother Jasmine must be missed her, but don't be sad Mother ... we all here accompany you" once again I see her smiles. Mother Makenna is a mother from Mother Jasmine who stay remain in Britain. "Mother ... how Britain is like ? "Aro suddenly come and sit beside me. "A country in Europe, which has 4 seasons" answered Mother Jasmine briefly. "I know ... spring, autumn, summer and winter" Senna run from inside house and sit beside Mother Jasmine. Mother Jasmine laughs "Wow ... excellent "praised Mother Jasmine.

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"I just read National Geographic last night" explained Senna . Then I see Kachiri and Afton come and sit with us "Spring starting from March to May, summer starting from June to August, autumn ... uhm ... September through November and winter on December to February" said Kachiri, as a new kid age 8 years old her knowledge is impressive. I see Mother Jasmine smiles and gives praise "excellent ..." said Mother Jasmin, "I pray and hope Mother Makenna is fine". Afton suddenly appears "Mother Makenna is in good healthy, she sends big hug for us. So ... how is school today? ". "Fun" Said Aro. "Tired" Said Senna. "Fun" replied Kachiri "bored" Said Afton. Senna and Afton are in one class, I know certain lesson today is writing no wonder they feel bored. "Wow ... it seems ... a long day for you all" Mother Jasmine laughs. "For today ... this is fantastic" I halt a few seconds, I don't realize how I can perceive what fantastic is. At once the Mother Jasmine laughs louder.
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"According to you Zafrina, what is fantastic?". I smiles and shakes my head in doubt. "It Is a feeling that we don't want to wake up from a dream world being amaze and happy" Aro who sit beside me try to explain about fantastic. I see him as a perfect older brother, he is handsome and intelligent. "Yes, that is the meaning of fantastic. So ... is that you feeling Zafrina? "Mother Jasmine smiles, and I nod quickly without doubt.
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"Someone is missing ..., where is Garret?" Mother Jasmine not only ask me but also ask all. "After we sweep garden, I don't see him again Mother" said Aro, while others await further answers from Aro "Perhaps ... as usual ... he is alone, listening to music" Corin suddenly appears and sits side by side with other kids. "Okay, should not be disturbed him. Let him be that way". Mother Jasmine starts telling stories about Britain. I hear for a while, but i am not interesting anymore. So i stand that ready to go for looking Garret, where he is usually listens songs.

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I run through the back hause, open the door and still run among the high grass. Those grass height are over my shouder. There, I see the old Oak tree with high branches, underneath the Oak tree I see a boy who is sitting alone with a small radio in his hands. Occasionally he is looking above the tress as if he is waiting for the fruit fall from one of the branches, firmly his eyes straight ahead as if waiting for someone comes.

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I don't want to disturb him, I stop running and walk slowly to Garret and sit beside him, "I am sure you are here, do the same thing" I smile . Yes, because you are the first person who know my secret place". "I accidentally found you here last week, I just searched a place to draw. It happened i have drawing home work, you know... i have to draw trees and grass that time. So I went here and found you"
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He laughs "It is fine, but keep this place from others if I do like here. Only you and I". I see him with big smile. I show him my litle finger "Come on ... where is your litle finger... let we promise ... only you and I place know this place". We cross the fingers then smile together. "What you hear?" asked me . "Of course the song" he answers shortly "Yes I know it must be songs there ... but what song?". He puts the small radio in my ears. I strain to hear the song but lobger i hear longer i can't hear the singer at all "Oops, what kind of that song?". "Zafrina .... it is piano which play in jazz" he laughs.

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My eyes rounded, because I don't understand at all what he said about. But I pretend to understand, tonight I will ask to Aro what jazz is. "Why your eyes like that?" Garret laughs louder, "Just ... just ... just ... I am hungry, "I lie. "Oh ..." Garret shakes his head. "You want to come home with me?" I ask him, but Garret shakes his head "You come home first, I do not want Mother Jasmine getting suspicious because we go home together" I nod, stand up and move away. "See you later at home Garret" I wave my hand and run.

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Why Garret special for me ?, because he trusts me to share his secret place with me. And that place becomes a secret place for Garret and I.

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In the evening, I ask about Jazz to Aro. "Zafrina, Jazz is kind of music was originally played by people of black skin. Told about the life and nature ". "Oh ... so what are music tools Aro?". "Piano, trumpet, saxophone, guitar are they music main tools". I smile and begin to understand. It looks like a piano ... piano. "You never heard?", "Piano is first music tolls i ever heard. I had heard once from Garret's radio". "Oh ... so ...." Aro seems want to ask another. "Thank you ... good night Aro. I went as fast as I go. Really, I hinder to tell intentionally about secret place, secret palce for Garret and I.

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*****

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We hug Aro, I don't undrstand why I am very hard to let my hug off from his arms. "Zafrina ..." Aro caress me softly. I realize that i still hug him while others already let their hug, and the rest see me and Aro on turn. Aro successfully obtained scholarship from the Erasmus Huis to study in Netherlands. "You will go far away Aro" Senna closes her face starts to cry again. I realize Netherlands is far away from where I live now along with friends and Mother Jasmine.

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"Only few years, I will be be strict in study, keep some money for come here again" Aro promises not only to Mother. Jasmine but also for me, Senna, Kachiri, Afton, Corin and Garret. "Goodbye friends ... I have to go ... I can miss the flight" he laughs, perhaps to cover his sadden. I see Aro hugs Afton, Corin and Garret bit long and kisses Mother Jasmine as well as Senna and Kachiri. But, with me he only caress my hair and stares me deeply. Who will be replace Aro later ? who will be my place to ask everything after Aro leaves ? "Good bye Zafrina, please take care yourself" he says last words for me.

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He walks slowly leaving us, once again he turns and waves his hands to us. I bite my lips, I never feel lost after i lost my parents and I don't expect lost someone who already live with me since long. I hold my hands tightly, feels warm and comfort. "Do not be sad Zafrina" the voice is soft and quiet. I am aware, Garret had hold my hand since Aro left.

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*****

.After Aro, Kachiri also goes as a teacher in other city, once again ... I feel lost. Afton who graduate in farming also go to work in one of the governmental department that forces him to live in rural areas to teach people farming. Corin gets scholarship to study in movie industry in in Korea. I am happy to know he gets that scholarship it means his dreams and imaginations could be real in another movie media.

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In this house just leave Senna, Garret, Mother Jasmine and Mother Abun. Every time I see Mother Jasmine and Mother Abun ... longer I look longer their ages older. After Aro, Kachiri, Afton, and Corin left i become more easily to share my thought with Garret. Not easy for me to share stories with man like Garret.

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"I have been writing letters to Mother Jasmine, Mother Abun, Afton, Corin, Garret, Senna, Kachiri and the last one is you. Quite hard to live here, the weather is always cold. Unlike at home Mother Jasmine, which is always warm. How are you? I really miss when we go school together, especially your smile" the wind make me stop reading, Aro miss me ?. I smile and continue to read "Pray for me Zafrina, hopefully we can gather soon "

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****

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Senna getting marry with her ballet teacher, she met at first time in ballet competition several months ago. A man who is very high with the perfect body shape. Their age difference are only 2 years. Senna decides to go with Siobhan to Russia. I just smiled when I see photo that Senna send sent yesterday. Senna, Siobhan and Abigail their new baby just born. I can see their happiness and when I see Abigail i feel Abigain will become a ballet dancer as both her parents.

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So here I am nor, live in my own world. I am an author. I don't like to be in front of the screen, I prefer to work behind the scenes. Beside an author I am a member of the Melody Orchestra which often appears in music celebration and big concert. I play piano, the first music tool i heard from a Garret's radio.

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I leave the house of Mother Jasmine immediately after I receives as piano player in Melody Orchestra. Occasionally I visit the Mother Jasmine and Mother Abun. We all in five -except Senna and Garret- gather at home Mother Jasmine. Afton, Kachiri, and Corin have been married. Afton married a girl in the city of place of work, a feminim girl. Kachiri married to a men who she meet through internet, while Corin married a Korean girl, every time i see her as like as I see a doll, because her skin is pure white, beautiful soft face and shine hair fall over her shoulder. Aro becomes a successful architect, the last building he just made is housing nuances of nature. Impressive. And Garret, a sepcial person in me, becomes a backpacker. I make his true stories in series novels, and in short weeks the novels always be best seller. I transfer the royalti into his account even over and over he refuses it until we make friensdhip-deal, the royalti is partly into two. In that so, Garret agrees meanwhile those money will support him into his adventurous journey.
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Every night, I always open my email to wait for some news from Garret. At least i know how his life out there. I am lucky this year he will go home, I wait almost every night, he will knock my door apartment with high bag on his shouder I can't wait to hug him.

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"Zafrina ..." someone caress my face softly, but I am still asleep. It is warm and comfort, I open my eyes slowly, I close my face with my hands, I want to scream but I hold. I don't want my neighbourhood awakened cause of me. I have asked receptionist and security of an entry to let Garret come into my room whenever he comes. What you think .... who doesn't know Garret? everyone seems knows him as an adventurer. He has been became a quite famous person.

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I hug him and let himself lie by my side, I laugh ... my litle friend, my special friend already come home after a long journey. Last we met about 2 years ago after he returned from his journey with human-boat. His decision to go with human-boat that time really shocked me seems let him strugle on the sea more dangerous than let him go tracking the land.

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"Don't go again ... Garret, ... is enough" I hug him from his back. "I can be crazy every time I read your story when you are in danger of dying in hunger and cold .... don't go again". I still hug him and my tears start to fall down.

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*****

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My presence will not change Garret's intention to continue his mission. I just feel this night, will be last night with him. I sit beside him, she is still as Garret as I know. His face, hair and eyes are still the same ... even if swallowed with difficulties and obstacles in his jorney but he remain same.

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"I don't know when we have time like this anymore. This may be a good time to talk about this" i pause for a minute then continue to talk "Garret .... Aro proposed me ... What should I do?" my voice hold on my throat. However, Garret keep silent. quite long. I have lost in mind why he such silent like that "Aro is very good man, Zafrina. You are in the right choice. Don't be doubt about that" he stares at me with his warm eyes and caress my face slowly.

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What? only that ... does he ever know that I like him since I was seven years old ... since the first time he shared the secret place with me ?. And now I realize every stories in his journey make me feel in fear to lost him ? , that I realize ... i had in loved with him. Then now ... how come he said like that ?. Hah ... very ... selfish ... men are selfish. He is not aware. I just don't know when I will meet with him again. Who know the future ? Will he come home in dead or alive ?. And look at me ... how if i am getting older and older ... cause wait him ... wait something unsure while he rundown into his journey ?.

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This night i feel hard to sleep, I wake up and sit on my bed. I feel relieve because Garret is not go today. I open the drawer from a desk beside my bed and take out a small white box. I stand then walk slowly to Garret's room.

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I find Garret's big bag and put the small box in it. I smile to see Garret sleep like that, I lie on his side, behind his shoulder. I talk in wishper "Garret, what would you do ... if I marry with Aro ... that means ... like you had said to me in our secret place under the oak tree that time, when i was in 7. You said love should not have to belong each other, love sometimes come at wrong time, and love probably will never be spoken, even spoken ... everything would have been late. Garret, if i can't have you ... is fine for me, if you come in wrong time it will fine for me, even when i can't say any to you ... it is really no matter for me. But, I just ... won't be late to say this" I pause and close my eyes. I wipe my tears. "Garret, I love you".

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*****

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In karakoram highway, cold weather could reach zero degree.

Garret opens his notes and start writing, he hopes next morning he can find a good signal to send this article to Zafrina. He takes his pen into his bag and check the his visa and paspor. In there, his hands touch something that he never know and touch before. He takes it out, he sees a mini white apple i pod is on his hand, Garret smiles, he knows who put this thing into his bag. He is sure, must be Zafrina did. He presses a button and opens the playlist, none of the songs in this playlist are well-known, because there is no title. Only the listed numbers of playlist. He presses play button to the top of order. Slowly he hears the sound of piano playing in jazz while Zafrina sings in it

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oh I love you
Endless time
I lose my mind
Because of you oh I want to kill myself
You are the only love in my life

The only thing there is night

My love you are every breath
That I take
oh I love you
If you go say good bye
But you know this
I will always love you
Bye bye if you go
Say goodbye
But you know this
I will always love you
When it’s hard to say anything
And when I want to see you
Can’t say anything
Can’t do anything I can’t do anything at all

Everyday every night
Every single day
I want you
Please don’t leave me alone
Don’t leave me alone
I want you
I need you love you
I’m gonna take you

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*****

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This evening as usual I open my email, hope Garret will reply my email. There are dozens of emails in inbox, but i am only search his name; garret_backpacker@yahoo.com, the second line from the top, I finds his address. I smile and begin to read it. There is an attachment, I open the attachment at first and let the loading complete. It could content his journey photos. After loading complete, what she sees is not alike photos, but real player it Could be his jorney recorded real-time player.

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In few seconds I hear strain of piano. I feel my heart beat faster. I see karakoram in the wide range of highway with snow-covered. It is my song that I gave to Garret. "Zafrina ..." real player replace the side of camera, Zafrina sees Garret there with thick dark blue jacket, dark color denim and black mountain shoes. "If I was the first person who introduce you a piano and jazz that time, under the oak tree, I would say i am lucky because i can share those things with you. My journey is starting from the Railway Station of Beijing, China. From there I climb to Tibet, cross over to Nepal, India, going down to enter to the west into Pakistan, Iran turn again to Central Asia, beginning from Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, to Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan and Afghanistan".

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I feel shocks when I hear Gerrat will go to Afghanistan. What is he looking to get there ?. He can die if Militant troops catch him or even be killed.

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"Afghanistan, my adventourus journey must be stopped in moment. Because i have to return home. Zafrina ... Shall you wait me until I come? I will come to take you to go with me, to the corners of the earth, there are countries that we almost never heard, such as Abkhazia, Transdniestr, Ossetia, and Nagorno Karabakh. I don't want to go alone again, I want you be here ... with me"

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Real player stop, at same time I stop crying.

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*****

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Rain over the city all day, after practiced with Melody Ochrestra all day, I take bath and go to sleep, sneaks inside my blanket and my eyes begin to close.

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I didn't dream any last night. But last night I slept more tight than others night. I felt someone kept her still sleeping. The color behind the curtain looks bit bright, I wonder could be 6 am right now. I move my body, but something holds me back. I see a hand over her arms, holds me tightly like won't let me go. There is someone behind my shoulder who sleep beside me all night. "Don't go ... " that voice sounds deep, soft and warm in her ears. "Garret ...!!!" I hold my breath.

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I reverse my body to make sure if Garret is beside me. "Thanks for your time ... to wait me return home." my eyes start to cry "Garret ..." I still holding her breath. "Don't say anything" Garret wipes my tears which begin to fall down. "Afghanistan ... really fantastic" Garret smiles "And here i am, return home, beside you to take you with me. I don't want to go alone, I need you. I love you Zafrina" Garret kisses her forehead "I love you Garret, i feel ... feel ... glad ... we not late to say this".

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Garret hugs me more closely, as if he doesn't want to let himself go. I reverse my body let Garret hold me from back, I won't Garret see me cry over and over again "Zafrina ...., please tell me where you want our marry take place ? Abkhazia, Transdniestr, Ossetia, or Nagorno Karabakh" Gatter smiles. "Married?" I can't say anything. I just hold his hands more tight "Don't worry about the cost ... Geographic Channel will pay all". Geograpbic Channel ?, what is the relation with Geographic Channel from all of this. I can feel Garret smiles behind my shoulder, "I was invited become a host in Geographic Channel". I feel my body is on the less light, Garret and I will be a host in Gepgraphic channel which watch by millions even billions of people in the world as the adventurous couple. "No matter where the marry takes place, all i want ... just you beside me Garret"

Ryza Febriasty