"Do you want to do something crazy ?" she smiles, let her fingers open widely to reach his fingers "Do you want to die together ?" she waits for another fingers reach hers. She closes her eyes, no matter what she will not move, her legs will be stiff and strict as like as a stone. It is not suicide, it is not regret, it is not lost mind, it just relieve. She stands at center on road, she let everything is free this moment. Dim light of a car fade her eyes, but she just ignored it. One ... the car still run toward her, two ... she still close her eyes, three ... she is ready to die.
Her fingers not cold as before, there is one person walks toward her slowly but surely to reach those fingers "Don't leave me ... lets we die together" he hugs her deeply. The dim light turn off "Hey you two ..., are you nuts ? move away, please find another place to take suicide !!!!!" the driver shouted as barked to them.
The girl opens her eyes "Don't you see, even God not let us to die in this way" the tears turns slowly over her cheek "Should we find another way to die ? i can't bare this anymore".
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This love is called pain. Pain to pretend that there is no love between them. Emily is an ordinary girl who work as pianist at the famous cafe in town. Bi is an extraordinary boy who is famous and completely bright star. Their first met was about one year ago, that time after filmed shoot there were many reporters run toward him. What he thought just private time for his lunch. He opened his bag and took a cap then put on his head, walked slowly to a girl who just out from storage room "I need you hug to cover me from them outside, can you help me ? i'm sure they wont recognize me here" he grabbed Emily's hand then hug her as like as they were a couple who not see for a long time "I wont forget your helping me" whispered him on her ear.
The day after, Emily received a bouquet of yellow rose on her piano "Thank you -Bi-" it was written from Bi for her, A famous movie star just gave her yellow rose ? it was nonsense. At first time, emily didn't pay attention for it, but more after she felt something different whenever she found Bi in Cafe to watch her played piano every night.
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"Get well soon K, i miss you" slowly tears are down. A person that she loves just lie for almost 6 months because fire accident, he being hospitalized because Emily. He runs into fire to save her, Emily is safe but her parents and brother died. K is not die yet, but he can't move, can't talk even open his eyes. K is a person who always beside her, a person who always guard her, a person who substitute as father - mother and brother because she is an orphan right now, a person who loves her all heart and sincere. It is her first love. His name is just K, he always be on top list in everything because his short name, Emily smiles whenever the memories remain back about K.
One night, K condition dropped to 40%, all over his body was cold as a die person. Emily ruined into bare time to wait K all night, waited the ICU room door opened and the doctor would tell her that everything was fine. She stood on her knee hours and hours in the corner, shaked, cried and afraid, all she knew if K died she would have no one in this world.
"Is okay Em" Suddenly Bi came and hug her from back. She knew for sure, she felt relieved that Bi was there that night not because she needed a friend but Bi has took half of her heart.
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Is it wrong to let this feeling grow ? Is it wrong to let this feeling become deep love ? It is different, very different. This feeling toward Bi is different than K. How come she become heartless person like this ? K is there right on hospital force to die and live but how come she let herself fall into Bi ?. Many thought roll over in mind.
Tonight the temperature is lower, she can't walk anymore but she have to keep walking to move away those thought. Emily doesn't recognize that Bi follows her. At once she falls, her feet feel heavy, the cold wraps her as like as ice cube, her heart feels weary because guilty, her tears never stop and she falls again. Just let fall and silent "I'm sorry K, i'm sorry ...". Bi walks slowly to reach her "You must be tired, how come a girl can walk that far in this stupid cold, come ... lets we eat some soup and hot chocolate" Bi tries to make her stand and walk, but Emily again and again refuse it. "Leave me Bi, don't you see ... you are worthless in here", "Come ... do you want to stay in here all night ?" he sees her tears start over down again. "I will if i want, what is you intention follow me until this far ? what is your purpose to tutor me like this ? i'm not yours ... don't you see i have K there, why you always around me ? leave me Bi ... i said leave me ... don't you understand ? don't you hear ... leave me Bi, forget everything ... just leave me" her voice is in deep sorrow.
Bi grabs Emily hand, hold her tightly and put her on his back "Are you deaf ? let me down" again and again Emily shouted to Bi but not a single word out from his mouth. That night he take Emily with him.
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Even the cafe nearly closed, but Bi is still there listening Emily play the piano. The last guest give an applause for Emily playing and please to go home. Emily still seat in her seat as like as Bi. It is love that he never said, it is love that he never had, it is love that should not keep. Everyone is pleased going home, the lamp just turn off, what is left just Bi and Emily. Bi put off his cap and glasses walking near to Emily. "I will take you home" he smiles and walks toward the door. "Bi ..., K will be out from hospital tomorrow, i decided to live with him ... marry him" her voice blends into sorrow and weary. "Have you taken all you things, i will take you home" seems like Bi wont listen everything on it. Bi keep walking toward the door while Emily walked back from him. Bi turns the door "I am sorry Bi ... " Emily hugs him "I can't leave K, I'm sorry .... we are not fate belong together. I'm sorry Bi ... Lets we pretend we never met before ... " Bi turns, sees Emily in sorrow, he is crying, there are many word which he wants to talk but seems blur at first. Bi kisses Emily gently and become deeply "I love you Em". Emily let herself going with that kiss, even she knows it will make them more pain after this. Emily takes Bi hands, takes him with her, for this night, only this night, let he becomes mine just tonight.
"Do you want to do something crazy ?" she smiles, let her fingers open widely to reach his fingers "Do you want to die together ?" she waits for another fingers reach hers. She closes her eyes, no matter what she will not move, her legs will be stiff and strict as like as a stone. It is not suicide, it is not regret, it is not lost mind, it just relieve. She stands at center on road, she let everything is free this moment. Dim light of a car fade her eyes, but she just ignored it. One ... the car still run toward her, two ... she still close her eyes, three ... she is ready to die.
Her fingers not cold as before, there is one person walks toward her slowly but surely to reach those fingers "Don't leave me ... lets we die together" he hugs her deeply. The dim light turn off "Hey you two ..., are you nuts ? move away, please find another place to take suicide !!!!!" the driver shouted as barked to them.
The girl opens her eyes "Don't you see, even God not let us to die together" the tears turns slowly over her cheek "Should we find another way to die ?, i can't bare this anymore"
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After K out from hospital, Emily married with K. K still can't talk, need wheelchair to walk but he can move her body bit by bit. Emily let her love to Bi keep in heart.
"Be strong K" she smiles to K. All she needs is K strength to keep alive. She holds his hand while she is sleeping. K caress Emily face gently until he sleeps away "Thank you Emily ... please live well okay ... everytime you see mountain that will as high as my love to you, everytime you see sky that will as wide as my love to you, everytime you see ocean that will as deep as my love to you".
In the morning when Emily try to wake K "Good morning K, open your eyes, lets we walk this morning. I will take you to deep pine forest nearby our house, don't you like it ?".
It just word for K, it just something which wont be accomplished because K had passed away last night.
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Emily back to town, works again in the same cafe. Day and day she waits to one person, it is Bi. But he never appear even once.
Until one day, "It is very beautiful playing, i had been heard this playing before" a guest told her so. "Thank you, you must be stick customer in here right, i just play this song in here" Emily smiles "And i never published that song into publick before" Emilly adds. "I am not too often come here, even i just know that you are part in this cafe" a guest said so. "Oh really, well ... where you have heard this song before ?". "My patient, he always play this song every night. He said he wanted to hear this song before he sleeps, afraid that he will miss it next morning, no one know how if next morning he will be still alive or no". Emily smiles "Really, i'm glad that i can give your patient that strong. Please send my greeting for him". "I will, but ... how about you come with me to see him. I'm sure your presence will bring more courage for him. Do you want ?". Emily nods "I love to".
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It is the same hospital where K did. The same hospital where Bi always beside him whenever she needs power, she needs shoulder to cry on, she needs someone to kill the time and Bi always there ... seems like he always follow her everywhere.
"It is the room, i will take you to see him" the doctor open the door "Wait Doc ... is it okay ? or ... just give this CD to him, i recorded another songs for him, to make him always bear in everything" said Emily. "It's fine, come with me" said the doctor.
The room is so silent, there is only him in this room. "It is out of his habit, listen your song in this time, meanwhile not his sleep time yet" the doctor smiles to Emily.
"Hello ... sir ... how are you ? getting better after last operation ?" asked the doctor
"Getting better Doc", Emily is freezing she really know that voice, that is only one person who has that voice.
"I bring someone to you, i'm sure you'll love it. She is the player of the song that you played every night"
Emily walks slowly toward that person, his head is bold, closer and closer. It is Bi right there, lie on the bed, in sorrow eyes and tears when he sees Emily.
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The first met at Cafe exactly not the first time Bi saw Emily. He had seen Emily same day when K being hospitalized. That was love at first time he saw a girl felt lonely, weary, sorrow and lost. He always there because he had to check regularly. Directly Emily gave him strength to keep alive, did his role as famous star, keep away the fact that he is sick. More over Emily left, more over he lost the strength. He didn't have any reason to keep strength, there was no reason for him had to keep alive to next morning if Emily wasn't there.
"Is it cold Bi ?" asked Emily, "No, it is warm, because you are here with me. You are as like as my electric blanket for me". "Are you sure you want to do this crazy things with me Bi ?" asked Emily. "Don't doubt about it. I wait another crazy things to do together" Bi smiles and laughs.
"Bi ... i owe you some words" Emily smiles to Bi, hold him more tight, caress his face, wipe his tears. "What Em ?".
Emily hugs Bi, whispers in his ear "I love you Bi, love you at first time you hug me at the cafe"
They see each other, eye by eye. Smile to smile. They kiss gently, and might be last kiss for them.
Emily takes Bi to her house in village where he and K lived. Take him to deep pine forest where she wanted to take K before he died. They sit together under the pine forest, morning to night, all day. They let their body die in freezing. But they wont let their love die, let this love sprung like seeds.
its so long no new post on your blog why why why
ReplyDeletewe miss u ryza :)