'New Post on August 5, 2014'

Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Heart Which Left In You - Part 1

I used to come to this cake shop which offer delight cakes, cookies, ice cream, tea to coffee. What cake i like most is opera cake which pour with hazelnut prickers. Love to drink jasmine sure with sugar free with one cup green mint ice cream with cherry on top. I spend much time here just fro reading a novel, less tiring or just want to be alone like i prefer right now.
Melissa, the waitress who is so lovely served me whenever i came to this place "So, how your life today ?" asked her while placing the order on the table. "What you see ?" replied me with bit smile "Oh ..., seems not a good day huh ?". "All i need is hug, you know that" Joked her then laughed. She let me with my order. I sipped the tea, today i ordered mint tea, closed my eyes and once saw my cellphone. I'm not waiting my husband even the only one son called me. I waited an email, a text or could be a messenger. But not one of if it signed. My sight was empty, looked to the wall which is made by glass. An hour left, and goes to two and half hours. I still freezing with an empty sight, "Hello ..., are you here ?" Melissa came and once again greet me "Am i that lost ?" I smiled to her "A lot, any story which you want to share ?" asked her politely "Even i hard to start to talk"  laughed "Just the bill please, just hard to breath right now" added to joke. "Holly sick ... why don't die later on" we both laughed a lot".
Morning as usual hectic time in my house, my litle son who just entered elementary school run over the house just put him a uniform school "Jason, honey ... let mommy put your clothes on" what the crazy is i try to run to catch him with his clothes in my hands, "Mommy ... mommy ... get me". I stand in the kitchen where he is hiding under the table "Mommy sees you Jason, don't let mommy eat you like a dino" seems like silly scary thing but usually work "Mommy ... dino never eat me, they already died" oh yeah ... please ... if you just know how smart you are why you have run over the house to make me put on your clothes !!!!.
I grab his hands slowly under the table "Come on Jason, wear this" i put on the clothes along with the pants, the color of the uniform is white and green. "Stay here please, i'll bring the shoes okay". For a moment i bring a pair of shoes and tie them "Mommy ... i love you" suddenly he hug me, the most warm thing i ever find this week. He surely can't know what i'm feeling right now. He just 7 years old but he did everything i need "Jason, mommy loves you also"
The sun comes down to my window office, i lay my head to the upper comfort couch and let the report on the table. I could be super woman, i could be squidward on Sponge Bob cartoon nickeledeon who has many hands, i could be bernard bear who always do silly and joking thing just to make me happy, but what is real that i'm a wife with one gorgeous son. I have been married for 8 years. I already havd what all women want, career, married life, happy family, lovely son, good house, nice car and loving husband. What is loose from me ?. I just don't know what has lost. Sometimes i want to get rid for all i have, i just want to go one place where no one knows about me, who i am, where i was from, when i was born, what i do for live, why i have unique taste, and how i through this life. To a place where is really new for me. Stay away from any who close with me but ... how come i leave Jason alone without me ? The son who i adore for, the son who i made many sacrifices in time, effort and pray.
I unlock my cell and start to push the email, there is no new inbox, there are only one sender on the list. Someone who always send and reply my email wherever is, whatever is and however is. Someone who had been my close one since i am single to married person. The deep secret which i never told to anyone. He is ... yes he is a man who is too younger than me. Don't be suspicious that i have an affair with him, it is obviously wrong. I start to read his last email "It is obviously out my mind. You know what ... finally i will marry her". I smiled when re-read his email. They had been dated almost two years not his first girl and will be the last for him. But, why my heart feels worry after received this email. What was wrong with me ?
To Be Continue To Part 2

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