12 am and still awake. Tears just running down like stupid and hardly to stop. What else tears coming that way because of him, my dream. He always ask me what is difference thing between us ? I never know what kind of thing it is. Then now I am finding the answer. How I through my life like this ? Until when I survive ? I just lost path to go even to step. I am own my self and totally empty.

I am becoming so pro. I should be an artist. The true i am when i face my self to the mirror. I smile to many poeple even laugh to someone who joke at me. But in fact deep inside i am not. I cry so much even getting too much for last 2 years until today. It happens after my dream leave me. Mirroring myself is reflection for who i am. I so remember, used to hide and cry under my study desk when I hear my parents fight. I hold my legs and pretend to deaf from their voices. So pathetic my life is. When my eyes starting to stare what inside just empty. What I know for myself today, I just empty on my own. I have no place to talk maybe that's why tears becoming the place. I lost the path, way and direction to go. I am breaking and hard to stand.