'New Post on August 5, 2014'

Sunday, April 5, 2009

You Are My Angel

I am a lonely person in this wide big world. I am less to talk among billion people in this planet. I am a loner in many crowded places. The point is, I like to live alone.
But, everything is changed after I met her. She was such an angel for me. At least for me only, even I know she can be an angel for others also. As I know in short of, she was a different girl from the most girls who I ever met.
“Hi …, can I join with you ?”
It is not a first time a girl asks same question to me. Usually I just smile to them and remain silent until I finish my meal. But, this one … seems forces me to be a different person in a minute.
“I don’t like to eat alone” she smiled gently to me. I reply her smile at once. Truly, I don’t like to be friendly to a stranger like this.
I glance to her meal. She must be a goat I think. How come she eat all those vegetables without meat at all ?. I look to my plate, there are two slices of meat, least peas, carrot and corn which mix into one and a portion fried rice.
“It can kill you bit by bit if you used to eat kind of food”
I stop eating and see to her face. “Do you mean, my food ?” asked me
“Yes” answered her shortly
“Is it your business then ?”
“No. I just tell you what I know. Here, take this … you need more vegetables than me” She put some green things on my plate.“It is spinach which cooks with garlic and pepper. The taste nice”
“Oh, you are not a polite girl. You put something on my plate without my permission”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean like that”
“Enough, you just take my appetite in a second”
It was our first met. That time I stopped by to food stall while I was driving home.
I never know this place before, but my friend told me that it was a good place to enjoy summer holiday. So I go to this place because my friend told me that. I suppose to come with him, but a day before he cancelled to come with me. Her mother asked him to accompany her to meet her sister who live in another city, she just have new baby.
So, here I am now. Driving alone until I reach the place which my friend guides me from his map and least notes in it. Well, is not a big deal for me. Having alone summer holiday like this. Meanwhile, I like to being alone.
I have passed 2 hours in driving. I decide to stop by to have lunch and rest in rest area. I order chicken noodle and ice lemon tea for my lunch. I see green things on top of the noodle. Whenever I put over that green things, a face of that girl come and fade away in mind. I smile suddenly.
“Hmmh … you are not different at all”, there was a voice behind me. I turn my body and I feel my heart stop pumping. It is her again.
“Are you talking with me ?” asked me
“Sure. Who else beside you in this place ?”
“Can I join with you ?”
“Oh no … it is enough to share my table with you that time. Right now, I prefer to eat alone”
I see her walk and seat to a table cross over me. Oh … why she has to seat there. She is still in my sight. She can take my appetite again. No matter how annoying she is, I have to finish my lunch in hurry.
I pay the bill and ready to continue on road. From this map, it will take about an hour to go to reach there. “Can I come with you” suddenly that girl show up. She stands with a small handy bag on her left shoulder and medium travel bag in her right hand.
“Just leave me okay”
“Please … can I come with you ?”
“Where do you think I will go ?”
“I don’t know, I just want to come”
“How if I am a bad guy, do you still want to come with me ?” I laughed with showing my front teeth. I just want to put her away from my sight. “Can you stop to bother me please ?”
“You are not a bad guy, I know from the first time saw you. I will not bother you. Look at this … “ she showed me her purse. “I have enough credit card, ATM and money in it”
I shake my head “Excuse me Miss. I go for Holiday, and I won't you appear suddenly and ruin everything” I close my car door and turn on the engine.
“Can I come with you please ?” suddenly she stands front of my car with pity face. I shock for her action. I don’t know why God so mad at me this time until send this girl to me. I look her clearly, she has a long hair until her waist. Deep brown and shiny that tie neatly. Her skin as white as milk and might be soft from the look her hands. I open my car door and stand beside my car.”Look, where is your destination ?”
“Not far from here ? so, its mean you would give me a ride ?”
“okay, not far from here. I do this because you are girl, if you were a man, I wouldn’t do this ?”
In a moment she seats behind me and gets to sleep
“Hey … hey … wake up. What name of your place ?” I said loudly to wake her up
I feel scared about this, how if she is runaway from her home, how if she is runaway after do something criminal, or how if she is crazy and somewhat of this.
“I have no place as my destination”
“What ….!” I stop my car. Seems like I ready to angry toward her. “You said, not far … which far is not far ?. You just give me heart attack”
“Where is your destination ?” asked her
“Where I want to go it is really not your point. Okay, I will take you to near police station. You should be runaway for your home right ? or you should be did something really … really wrong” I turn on the engine and turn back, as I remember few kilometers from rest area I see a police station.
“No … don’t … please” she hold my hand. It is the first time I see a girl cry front of me. “I am not do something wrong and I am not run away from home. Please. We meet again in that rest area it seems my destiny to meet you again”
“So, should I believe for all you said before ?”
“I don’t ask you to believe. You said you came here for holiday, can I come with you ? after that, I promise I will not bother you anymore”
“It is silly”
“It is not. I am Alice” she stick her hand out toward me “It really nice if you take me, I am a cheerful person and hope you enjoy being my friend”
What my friend shows about the place is a village. I open his notes over and over to make sure. I call him also. And it is, the place he told me.
We had booked two room for me and my friend, because he can’t come that room will be belong to her, Alice, at least that is her name the way she told me.
I take my laptop and start to write. I am a college student but I have part time job as a writer. I always use camouflage name for all my written. I don’t like people recognize me. In writing field I used to be called Ghost Writer just because I avoid and never show up to any media. I let the reader sink with their curiosity about me.
A porter said to me, tonight would held festival in beach. I don’t like beach much, I can count how many I go to beach entire life. But, because it is my holiday and I am quite far from city I will consider to go to the beach.
When I write, I will let my mind and my hands tie into one soul. It brings sun turns from day into night. I take bath, change clothes and ready to go to festival.
I have to wait a medium wooden boat to take me to main hotel. The rooms of this hotel are spread into one area which divides by a artificial river. Along the side of ride there are many torches light on. This place wants to bring natural look in modern city nowdays.
A wooden boat come, I seat behind the person who row a boat. He stops to another room and I feel surprise because Alice will be on same boat with me. “Hi … it is nice to see you again” she smiled and talked along until we reach to main hotel. I leave my room key to receptionist and so do her. “Are you plan to go tonight ?” she asked. I don’t answer any for what she asking. “I will go to beach, are you come there also ?”
Oh God … why this person always around me ? can I have peace moment here ?
I turn my body to take my room key again, she just take my passion to go to beach festival. “Hey … am I bother you ?” she ran over me. “What do you think ?” I said. “Okay, just go. Let me stay here” she waved her hand and walked to receptionist to take her key then her shadow disappeared slowly. “Nice …” I smiled and went to the beach to see festival beach.
The festival is too crowded, there are many people loud music. Many people wear custom and dance alongside the beach. I just can stand in 30 minutes after that I return to my hotel. While I sit on wooden boat I see her sit alone in her terrace room. I feel guilty to her. It supposed her to go to festival beach than me. In mind I want to say sorry to her tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning, after bath and dress I go to her room to say sorry, I have been so rude for her since beginning. “Good morning” she smiled. “Good morning” I saw her in pale face and make her skin more white. “Uhm … I just want to say sorry for … last night … uhm …, I mean, since first time I think I become so rude to you” it could be the first time for me to say sorry to a girl.
“Is okay” she smiled again. “So, have any plan for today ?” asked me. She shakes her head once “No, I want to take rest”. Ya, I can see her skin is so pale today but I don’t ask anything again. She just close her door
Almost two days I never had seen her. I walk along the beach, after the festival beach I never missed to see sun set. Meanwhile for me, to see this amazing time quite hard when I return home later. I sit after find my favorite place to see sun set.
“Is it beautiful right ?” someone sit behind me, “Yes, it is” answered me. She is Alice. “God is giant in this world, you know that ?” she said. I nod. “And we are human just toy things for God” I looked at her, her face is not pale anymore. “Do you like to see that sun set when you in this hotel ?” asked me. She shakes her head at once “No, it is first time. And lucky me, I find you again” she smiled.
“Oh we always meet in unexpected condition” I laughed, it could be the first time I laughed that freely to a girl. “You have girl friend?” asked her. I smile not because her question but because her brave ask that to me “No, is it a rule that man should has a woman in his life ?”.
“No, is not a rule but it is a fate” she smiled to me. When the sun shines orange shines to her, I can see that color in her cheek. I can’t believe I just see a beauty. It is not first time for me to see beautiful women but it will be first time for me to see beauty that can’t describe with words. “Why are you staring me like that ?” asked her then smiled. “No, is fine” I lied, off course I have to lie I don’t want became a foolish.
“So, do you have boyfriend ?” asked me. “What a question is that ? “she stared my eyes. “Just question as like as you ask me” once again I see a smile that I never had seen before. Smile to relieve and to be free. “Few times …, but for now … I haven’t” I laughed to hear that. We stay there until dinner come. Talk everything, world, nature, faith, God until small things like stone which turn into sand. She believe about alien, ghost, monster, even angel and me, I prefer to believe un-fiction things, technology, gadget and invention. We are different creatures but this is the first time for me to talk that long with a girl.
We meet again in dinner time, we agree to have dinner. I really don’t know is it dinner date or what ?. It is not first time for me to have dinner with a girl but it will be first time for me to have a dinner with a girl like her. I wait her on my seat. I must be crazy because of this. What am doing right now ? my intention to come here is for holiday and catch much inspiration for my writing. But, I met her first who put her meal on my plate without my permission, second met her at rest area who beg to me to come with me and third here I am with her.
She come with white gown, she is fascinating woman as I see that time. “I offer all this because I think you like this kind of food” I teased her. “I am, if I don’t eat those vegetable it will bring to my death sooner” she smiled and nod her head down. “Do you think after this holiday end, we can meet again ?” asked me. “ What do you think, do you want to meet me again ?”
“If you want, I want to meet you again” I just looked at her. Seems It will be last night I see her that close. I am too afraid to forget how she look, her face, her hair, her skin, her smile, and I am too afraid to forget her as Alice. “You believe an angel ?” asked her “No, what should I believe an angel ?”.
“One person has one angel. It is a gift from God to us” she said deeply. “So do you think you have an angel ?” asked me. She nod “Yes, I have. When I was kid I have a dog pet his name is Dotty. Because he was Dalmatian, he had dots all over his body. He was died when he saved me from a car which almost hit me after I was going from school”
I want to laugh, how come a dog can be an angel for human. But for this time, I leave my arrogance side. “As an angel, what he had done for you ?” asked me “He always guards me”. I Just don’t get it how come mature girl like her still believe that tale.
We start to talk many things. When I am with her, everything looks easy. Or might be she brings a warm for me. “It is my favorite piano song, have you ever heard this one ?”. I really seldom hear piano solo song list “No, what is this ?”. “It is December, played and arranged by George Winston, from December Album, the title is Thanksgiving”. Truly, i am impressed about her knowledge in this kind of song. “Come with me”. She walks slowly into ballroom hotel and talked to a piano player. What i am thinking right now, will not wrong. “Will you dance with me ?” see ... she always reads my mind. “I never dance in this kind of rhythm” i show beg face to her. “Nice, it could be a first you”. She takes my hands slowly “Just follow my signs and everything will be fine” said her with smile.
She stands close to my chest and i hope she can’t hear my heart beat too fast. Because i am nervous and i am feeling shy many eyes are seeing us right now. She lie her face on my shoulder “This song is a last song which accompany me to dance with my dad” she whispered to my ear. “Why should be last song ?”. “My dad just passed away a month ago”. I hold her more tight than before and let her cry in her memories on my shoulder. “It is really first time i dance with this song again” her voice more slowly than before, i can’t see her smile again but i try to smile to her “And it is my first time to dance like this” i can hear her laugh, and it is enough to see her smile.
I know it must be hurry for us, we just a week to know each other. From an unexpected condition until we make this into purpose condition. I want to try to love her, i hope she will try the same way.
This morning i come to her room, i see two people come and go from her room. That room should be cleaned, so i will wait her in main hotel to have breakfast together like we promised last night, to meet again at breakfast.
I leave my key to a receptionist because after breakfast we will go to some places “Sir, there is a message for you” a young receptionist gave me a letter in white envelope. It should be from agency because i told them that i stayed here for a a week. It could be invitation to discuss about my writing project. I take that envelope with me. I sit at same place where i have dinner with Alice last night. I wonder why there is no address even name on the envelope, is it deliver by a currier or somewhat ?. I tear the envelope.
“It was beautiful night with you. I am so thankful and grateful when i find you, especially when i meet you and have chances to know you more. I will memorize our dance as like as i memorize my last dance with my dad. I Had found an angel since long, i hope you will find your angel also.
At first time i know, how hurt my heart is. I just loose someone that i am looking since long.
A year passed by, since that i became a different person especially in writing. Slowly i let world see me, i am not hide anymore. For one purpose only, whenever she sees or hears anything about me i hope she will come to me.
I had graduated for my collage, i become an architect. My last public project was luxury apartment in main city. After that, i open medium company with my two close friends. Whenever i remind to Alice i will hear Geroge Winston-Thanksgiving, if it is not help i will go to the beach where we talked lot of things for first time. I miss her, want to feel her in my hold again, want to see her smile, and want to see her laugh again.
One day, i see the advertisement about ballet concert which compilation with George Winston. I buy one VIP ticket tonight. I want to see George Winston closer. It is started with a ballerina group from Asia, continue to Europe group. It is the first time i see a concert like this. In closing session George Winston will play one song from December Album. I ask by myself, which song he will play. When he starts to the first note, i just know he will play thanksgiving. I smile relieve.
I see a beautiful woman come from the alley and dance around the piano. She wears white from top to toe. Seems like a real angel for the first time. At the moment, i know it is Alice. I am freezing. Looking her in elastic movement and gestures. She can be an angel if she wants that time. I feel my tears running down see her, how deep i miss her.
After the concert, i go to stage back just to meet her, but once again I loss her. But i never give up. I look much information about the concert. Until i find everything about her. She is not Alice, it is not her name. But her name is Angel.
Should i come to meet her ? i have her address studio. How if she goes just because in purpose ?. How foolish i am just appear suddenly and say to her that i miss her and i love her since first time we dance in hotel ballroom.
Tonight i decide to go her studio, at least it is not private place because it offers course ballet also. I wonder and ask myself, if we leave in some city why God not let us to meet each other. Even in garden, mall, restaurant, groceries store and somewhere. Why God should make like this. I enter to the studio. I see some pictures hang over the wall. All about ballet solo competition, why i never know that Alice or Angel is a famous ballerina ? where my knowledge gone that far that night when i danced with her ?
“We are almost close sir, you can come next morning right at 9 am”.
I turn my body and see her as real creature not as fiction who always come in my dream. “Can i come earlier than 9 am ?” i won’t let my sight off from her. I just want to stare everything she does, i am too afraid to lose her again.
“Why you want to come early ?” asked her
“Because i want to meet Angel before everyone sees her” i walk slowly close to her
I tie her right hand with my handkerchief to my left hand “Because i don’t want to see you disappear again” i hold her “don’t you see, i had tied your hand that tight”
My feeling can’t be described in words. I spend day and night with her. I feel warm side of me just back. “I will take you to my workplace tomorrow” i smiled to her. “What for ?” asked her, “to show you a house that i make for our living” he smiled in redden face. I hug her “Tomorrow okay, just wait”.
Next morning, I go to her studio to pick her up. My heart bit faster when I see an ambulance front of her studio. I see Angel just lie when paramedics get her into an ambulance car. I grab to follow her in. “Are you still have family with Ms. Angel ?” one paramedics asked me, I nod. It is just a way to let me in to this car. I see her close eyes, but thankful she still breathes.
Almost two days she is still in crisis. Her eyes not open yet. I wonder why there is no family with her. Is she a orphanage ?. There is only one person who always waiting a like me. She must be not her mother because her face not resemble. “I am sorry, may I know who … “, she interrupted me “You can say me as the person who close with her since she was born”. I sit beside her and listen what she says.
“Her mother passed away after she born. Her mother has leukemia but forced to keep her even doctor said it would be dangerous for her. Ms. Angel lived as a lonely kid after her mother died. It made her father married again, at that time I could see how happy she was. Her step mother was a ballerina. Her step mother name was Alice. When Mrs. Alice had concert I remembered, that time Ms. Angel cried that loud ask her not to go. But concert already set up. Mrs. Alice went with her group then Ms. Angel went to his father”
She stops as I stop to breathe.
“I know why Ms. Angel asked her mother not to go. Because she had said to me, a night before concert she dreamed her mother died in car accident. I told her again and again that day I just was a dream. But it was not dream at all. The accident happened and Mrs. Alice died”
She cries but I can’t cry that time. I just feel my heart crush.
“Since that, Ms. Angel tried to be a good ballerina. And she did. She had concert start form Asia, continue to State then to Europe”
I smile when I remember that time when she asked me to have a ride and promised not will bother me because she has enough credit card, ATM and money in her purse. I just didn’t know that time, she was so sad and wanted to find place to forget all behind her.
“She became a tough person after Mrs. Alice died. But, after her father died he became weaker. She had said to me what for she lived after her father died also, she has nothing even she has no love in this big world”
I smiled again, she is just like me a person who has no love in this big world. But after I met her, I knew how love it was like.
“I suggested her to go to vacation a month after his father died. And she did. A week before she went, I found her faint in her bed. I took her here, in this hospital. We just knew he had leukemia also”
I stand from my seat and walk closer to the wall. It sounds like a bang for me. I remind how she liked to eat vegetable and how she said if she was not regularly eat that it just brought her died sooner. And how come I thought it just was a joke ?.
“She still went but she said that she didn’t any place to go. One day, she called me that she went to beautiful village with good man with her. That time she felt her condition weaker, after she called me. I went there to take her home”
That day, could be a last day they meet. Angel just left a letter for me, not in purpose to leave me but because she was totally sick.
After that day, she never go anywhere to far. And she decide to open course ballerina studio, because she knows, she is not able to dance anymore. Last week was a last concert for her. She tried hard to win to dance compile with George Winston. Because …”
“It was a last song which danced with her father. After her father died, she danced again in that song with me in ballroom hotel” I continued her words.
“Yes, she said to me also. She never said even told me who was that man. But I know that man is you at first I see you”
A doctor come out, tell to us that she allow to visit. I let that women enter first than me. After that I come to see her.
It is too good to see her smile again, even she cries. “Can you take me to the home you make for us. You had promised to me right ?. I had promised not disappear again so, it Is your turn” I lift her body to mine, hug her tightly “But promise me you will not go anywhere okay” I whispered to her ear. “I will not go anywhere”
With doctor permission, two paramedics come with me and that woman also to a house that I make for us.
“Oh, look am I criminal look there too many person in here, can I have private moment please” she said to two paramedics and that women. I can’t believe in this condition she still can make a joke like that.
I hold her hand to look entire house. “It still empty space, because you are truly ballerina I will make this space for your studio” she hold my hand more tight and whispered “Thank you”.
“And this is my space for draw, it will be nice hear the song and see you dance when I work” she kissed my cheek.
“And this is my favorite spot. Room terrace. Because it is hard to find near beach in here, so I replace with mountain view from here. I hope you like this”
“I do, I can hear the sound of wind and birds also from here”
I nod, and sit to my favorite wooden seat. I lift her into my lap, she just lie on my holding like a baby born. “I love you” she stared my eyes deeply “I love you”. I caress her hair “I am sorry” my tears are felt on her face “Why are you crying ? I am here and not go anywhere” she smiled. “Yes, I know you. You will not go anywhere ?”
“If I close my eyes, I will see my two mothers wait me and my father show his hands to take me”
“So don’t close your eyes, just look at me. Am I not too handsome to see ?” I tried to make her laugh. But she just smile “You are perfect. I have two angels now”
I wipe my tears “Two ? that’s many. You said one person has one angel”.
“I just give the old one to the women who takes care me since baby, and the new one is you. I can see my Dotty Dog bark sign agree to my decision”
“So, don’t close your eyes, sometimes dog bark is too noisy, just stare at me” I hug her more close to me, close to my face.
“If I stare at you, I just see you cry” she said.
I hear two paramedics come and wait to the door next behind us. “Have you found your Angel ?” asked her.
“I have. Since I met a girl who asked me danced in ballroom hotel. You are my angel. Your name is resemble to your presence for me”
“That nice”, she stared at me and kissed me “I love you” she whispered to my ear. “I love you” i kissed her and whispered to her ear. I see she smiles once and closes her eyes.
I realized she just left me to the space that I couldn’t touch. She can leave far from me, but she can’t go too far from my heart. Because she is my angel who has to accompany me until I die and hope we can meet in heaven.
Ryza Febriasty

1 comment:

  1. I just don't know why i make this story ends sad maybe because i like sad ending stories. As i know an angel not always has wings.


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